Christmas chutney and Christmas shopping

OK, folks, it’s Christmas Eve eve, and the question is whether I can get away with it. There they are on the top of the fridge, a great glistening phalanx of glass pots. Inside those pots is a gibbering radioactive brown mulch, and you know what I intend to do with that nameless gunk?

At this point, my nearest and dearest should stop reading this article, because that stuff is chutney, and that chutney is about to be deployed as an all-purpose, one-size-fits-all universal Christmas present.

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It must be about six weeks or so since we emptied the last dribblings from the huge aromatic chutney vat, and sealed the last pint of the brown ambrosia into the last jar, and ever since I have been hugging myself with Scrooge-like ecstasy.

So that’s Christmas sorted, I said to myself. That’s how to deal with the credit crunch, I gloated. Everybody will understand that this is one of those belt-tightening years, I reasoned, and for the past few weeks I have looked forward to the exchange of presents in a state of complacent glee.

Until, that is, today. Because today I am afraid to say that I have been assailed by uncharacteristic doubt. I look up at those thrifty brown pots of gloop, and then I look down at the paper, and I see that terrible things are happening on the high street of Britain, with sales down 8·4 per cent year on year. I see that Jaguar Land Rover, makers of luxury cars, are in danger of going under – and I wonder am I doing the right thing?

Is it morally, socially or economically defensible to give everyone chutney for Christmas? Let us briefly marshal the arguments.

There is no doubt that the act of making and giving chutney is in keeping with the mood of the times. The Queen has decreed that there should be a halt to the buying of new dresses; You can find beautiful Bridal Robes online also. caravan holidays are apparently all the rage; the average British male is already drinking 19 per cent less alcohol; and the nation is in one of its rare fits of sobriety, asceticism and repulsion at the ostentatious display of wealth.

And can you blame us? It was binge spending that got us into this mess, wasn’t it? It was reckless lending by all those bankers, whose greed and deceit seems almost to have discredited the very idea of capitalism.

We read of the sufferings of the clients of Bernard Madoff, and I am afraid that we do not feel overwhelmed with sympathy. We see a bunch of rich people whose eyes were so full of dollar signs that they failed to spot the fraud; and in our hearts we know that we have all been participating in the vast Ponzi scheme called Gordonomics, in which the state and the citizens alike have been engaged in an orgy of consumption, and racking up huge debts, on the tacit assumption that they would eventually be met by new entrants to the scheme.

Who are the new entrants? They are our children, and taxpayers unborn, who will have to meet the cost in our borrowings through the sweat of their brows.

Yes, my friends, we are all now members of the proletariat, in the sense that our wealth is now in our children (proles – keep awake at the back of the class there).

It is in this mood of financial self-disgust, you might argue, that it is entirely fitting that an otherwise prosperous member of the middle classes should get a load of apples from the garden, boil them up, add Demerara sugar and vinegar, together with onions, walnuts, apricots and all sorts of other top-secret ingredients, and hand them round to his loved ones for Christmas. And if they are so rash as to complain that this is a bit tight-fisted, I can always point out that it is the thought that counts, eh?

Well, I am not so sure. The more I ponder the morality of chutney-giving, the greater my doubts. If I give everyone a pot of home-made relish, and everyone else goes to the shops and gets me an averagely expensive Christmas present, then I will feel embarrassed by my meanness.

And of course if everybody gives everybody else nothing but chutney, then the economy will completely seize up, and by this time next year no one will have enough money to pay even for the sugar or the vinegar, and the nation will be reduced to such a state of penury that even home-made Christmas presents will be too expensive for us to produce.

To put it another way, if no one goes out to buy a new Jaguar, then not only will Jaguar collapse, but so will all the components makers across the West Midlands, and there will be such a draining of strength from the economy that in the end hardly anyone will be able to afford a new Jag at all.

So here we are, poised on the central dilemma of British politics. Should we all be desperately scrimping and saving, or should we be investing to keep the economy moving?

The answer, of course, is both. We need to cut waste, we need to stop racking up more debts, we need to reverse the massive expansion of the state; but, in so far as we have cash available, we should not hesitate to use it sensibly.

We should continue and indeed step up our investment in infrastructure projects that will be of long-term benefit to the economy, and improve the competitiveness of the United Kingdom.

And as for domestic consumption, it would be a mistake to submit to a complete credit-crunch psychosis. I think I can probably just about afford to buy some presents, in addition to my chutney offerings, and so I should sign off now and do my patriotic duty by going to the shops.

Happy Christmas and condiments of the season to you all.

[This article by Boris Johnson was first published in the Daily Telegraph on 22 December 2008 under the heading, “Giving chutney for Christmas won’t help Britain out of recession”]

68 thoughts on “Christmas chutney and Christmas shopping”

  1. It is a lovely idea to give jars of chutney as presents because it is something that you have made personally. so therefore means more than an expensive gift that you merely bought. If you have lavished care on a present – made a cake or knitted a scarf or sewed a bag, surely this is showing more love than a shop bought gift? Just for once, can’t we forget about helping the economy, politics or whatever, and concentrate on showing how much we care, because over Christmas, that is the most important thing.

  2. I am a bit shocked that even our kind hearted Mayor is not sorry for the people duped by the Madoff scam. People who go for that sort of investment could be desperately insecure about money, possibly they suffered dreadfully from the loss of something and determined they would make themselves secure and never suffer like that again. If so, they will now be flat on their backs, totally traumatised that everything has been ripped from them and appalled that destitution is staring them in the face. (The more you try to make yourself safe in this way, the more you are laying up suffering for yourself spiritually, because material things are never to be relied on.)

    It is often not greed that makes people hungry for cash. It is desperate fear and insecurity, an inner emptiness that can never be filled. Even if they are not motivated by insecurity, and are merely greedy, someone elses pain is never a cause for celebration.

    It is just not kind (and I am not suggesting the Mayor is doing this) to gloat at anyone’s misfortune, whether deserved or not. I truly believe there is a sort of karmic spiritual master plan that will jump up and smack us in the kisser at the very moment we least expect it, if we pursue the wrong things in life. This happens to everybody, and gloating when it happens to someone else is only ensuring that a massive karmic boobytrap awaits the gloater.

  3. I know that Boris Johnson does not kick people when they are down, because the way he behaved when Conrad Black got into difficulties, rightly or wrongly, was one of the reasons I voted for Boris as Mayor.

  4. We’ve had damsonomics, now we have chutney and Gordonomics (I guess the chutney is the better part of that pairing). I wonder if Boris is preparing his gift for next Christmas? “Condiment-onomics” a book for thinking cooks and gardeners everywhere.

  5. Angela. I could have forgiven Boris for not kicking Black when he was down had he kicked the pompous crooked ratbag when he was up.
    Boris. Please call round with your chutney – I know that it will be organic and vegan – you will be warmly welcomed (I may call you, in a festive and loving way, a silly old bugger but would still be delighted to see you) – particularly if you manage to bring dear old Melissa along with you.
    I am inspired by your message, Bozza, dear old chum. I am off to Harrods first thing in the a.m. The thought of dear old Al Fayed having to fire his deputy croissant chef fills me with a sadness that is too much to bear.

  6. Hi if ur ruined by debt, u should really sign up for Boris’s After Christmas Chutney. It’s Free!

    Happy new year to you all. 2009 rocks! Whoever come out on the top who’ll ruz.

  7. Merry Christmas Boris, may you and yours have a very Merry Christmas and happy new year X

    Merry Christmas Melissa and all behind the scenes at the Boris Johnson Blog. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a happy new year X

  8. Where’s deadly dark recession the medias have been painting?

    With heroic intention to save the economy from going down the drain after reading Boris article, I went to the mall for after Christmas shopping. It was discovered that millions other must have been read Boris too were doing the same thing. I have never ever seen such a scene for the past 20 years. The whole parking lot jammed packed beyond canned sardines plus schools of cars were outside waiting for the entry. Traffic directing guards were at work like crazy.

    Honestly, Even in during the highest of the booming economy in the past, never such desperate scene had ever occurred.

    I got so distress and pissed I had to turn around drove back home. It’s absolutely a insanity. Ridicules! While driving back to home, I had callers complaining on the radio of the same thing as I saw. “What recession? I had seen strip malls after malls long line waiting at the factory outlet stories of the famous brand name week after week in the weekends since Nov and Dec.” Said the caller. “And people now bring their check books and cash instead of credit cards when shopping.”

    The economy situation perhaps isn’t so bad in general. Perhaps it’s only bad at areas mainly related to automakers, financing, and housing.

    Perhaps retails are not making as much profit as they use to. But they are most selling less useful stuffs only less junks. Besides in the past, everything was way over priced. Now as the deleveraging process goes, consumer goods price are backing down to their true values price.


  9. Vicus, Boris had no idea that Conrad Black was up to anything fishy until it all came out in the press, so why should he have kicked him at any stage in time? Conrad Black did have his good points, he was a good proprietor of newspapers, seemed to be a good businessman and he recognised talent and that is the only side that Boris saw. It is always a huge shock when peoples’ dishonesty is revealed, look how shocked and horrified everyone is at the Madoff scandal, nobody had the slightest idea! (maybe that’s not right….. some people seem to have had doubts, but they didn’t do much about them.)

    HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone who contributes to this website!

  10. “What recession???????

    perhaps media is showing off its power in changing public opinion, if you like, manipulating??

    Or that the recession advocacy is aimed at prices to fall to reasonable level! this is clever way of creating the illusion of over supply!

  11. Anyway, all the illegal manoeuvres went on in the States, not over here, so nobody employed by Conrad Black on any British publication could possibly have known about anything.

  12. In today’s Sunday Times, Dominic Lawson says, re. Jaguar…

    “If there is no rational economic argument, still less a necessity, for the government to shovel taxpayers’ money into a loan to India’s biggest privately owned company, why should Mandelson – who as EU trade commissioner was cogent in his criticism of the competitive subsidy racket – be prepared to take such a step?

    In the new business secretary’s RSA speech, he condemned the industrial policies of the 1960s and 1970s for “substituting the calculus of politics for commercial or economic reality”. Exactly the same could be said of the tactics behind Mandelson’s gavotte with Jaguar. Any “loan” will be principally designed to demonstrate that the government, unlike the Tories, is actually “doing something” (as if oppositions ever could); that it now has an industrial “strategy” to follow up the coup of its recapitalisation of the banks. ”

    In fact, it would not constitute any sort of industrial strategy; but it definitely counts as political strategy – on which canvas Mandelson is a true artist.

  13. I also love the Gerald scarfe cartoon in today’s Sunday Times, of Gordon Brown as “Honest Gordon” selling off Britain in a massive sale, 50% off! YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN! I love the two attack dogs Scarfe has drawn, snapping at Gordon’s heels.

    To give a room an ususual touch, buy several gold frames from Woolies (or any other good value store, don’t buy anything expensive), cut out the Scarfe cartoons and decorate your walls for a unusual topical look. I have about 8 of these gold frames and regularly change the cartoons if they date. Then load a low table with several Amaryllis lilies, and a few large candles, for a stunning look, for a New Year party. You could even adorn your serviettes with pictures of outstanding political figures, just cut out a nice pic. laminate and fasten to the serviette ring, good ones to pick are Ken, BJ, DC, GO, and Jacqui Smith and Gordon for unpopular guests, etc.

    However, running a tape of the London Assembly in the background, as a friend of mine did for her party – her kids looked brain dead after half an hour – is definitely overkill.

  14. I was going to make it a N.Y Resolution to be more measured in my criticism of Gordon Brown, and not get so angry, but I do not think I am going to be able to manage it.

    Then I read that GB has said that British spirit will get us through the recession. Why Does our Prime minister refer to “Britain” as though he considers England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales to be the same, when he palpably does not consider those races to be the same? He does not think of those races as “British?!

    We all know he blatantly favours the Scotts in everything he does. He does not put Britain first. He puts SCOTLAND first. Cut the bullshit Gordon, it is bad enough knowing in our hearts that we have a hypocrite for a Prime Minister, we don’t have to be reminded of it verbally over the festive season.

  15. Very hard not to get angry at Gordon Brown. It is grossly unfair the way he favours Scotland and does not reflect well on his integrity.

  16. Some things will collapse whatever we do, because times are moving on. Already the internet is slaughtering stores like Waterstones because you can get books so much cheaper on the net and nothing is going to stop that. The retail trade is also losing sales to on line shopping. It’s like the Industrial Revolution. The strong will survive and find means of making money and people who hang onto dying things just won’t. Move with the times is the message for 2009.

  17. Thanks to Boris for entertaining us with his brilliant articles throughout the year, always enjoyable and thought provoking.

  18. I haven’t got mine yet.

    Jaguar, chutney, whatever. I’m not proud. Or beholden to an inescapable capitalist vortex of blithe, obedient consumerism.

    Although a Lambo could change my mind…

  19. I know that it is symbolic, but actually, I would love to have the recipe for the chutney. I adore home made chutney and I don’t have many good recipes.

  20. Geez you have some good ads. for this website now! Has the Mayor noticed the new trend for publishers to publish books of blogging? I am pretty sure that Alexandra Penney is going to blog. her way out of the Madoff scandal, and anything by Boris is a sure fire seller. If he chanted a limerick, it would probably make the Top 20.

    Get in quick Boris, before everybody does it, of course you will want us bloggers to answer your blogs. or features, which you could put in the book, so you could democratically pay a tiny proportion of your royalties to be divided amongst us, say 5% for all the bloggers, the remaining 95% for you would be fair, because you are the famous one. In the coming credit crunch, it is good to try new things, this is just a suggestion.

  21. You have to have a theme though to hang a book of blogs. on, for example, Alexandra Penney has a strong theme – she was ripped off by Madoff. Boris Johnson hasn’t been ripped off. The problem is, the public want to read what Boris writes, and he is so busy, he can’t spend as much time writing books as before.

  22. I took some of the idea, my parents got the latest technical gadgets, and my sister got a hand knitted scarf that i made from wool i got at a discount for telling the shop owner how terrible her shop was (Never have a sale of gorgeous yarn to show a yarn addict… its not fair)… So i drove the *ahem* American economy and then did some crafting to produce my sister’s scarf…

    I have to say that there is something very appealing about handmade bartered goods, while it might not compare to a capitalist system it makes for a far friendlier world. A friend of mine who makes jewelery is doing some work for me in exchange for some knitted work for me. Both of us being highly paid technical people we couldn’t afford to pay each other for the time it would take to do the work…but we both enjoy the effort we put in instead and get something as nice back in exchange.

    The whole scheme with spend’n’borrow more seems to me akin to someone who is falling off a cliff deciding that “well i’m falling, i may as well try to fly”… it may work but those are some very sharp rocks…

  23. Apropos of absolutely nothing, I was thinking, we should support the artists in our communities. At this time, it takes huge courage to be an actor, artist, dancer, musician… these jobs have no security and the people who have chosen them as careers have to face rejection every single day, be told they are not good enough, fight for work, and in the recession, their lives will be harder than ever. If you know any artists, actors, singers, etc. tell them they are fantastic, because they are.

  24. Our theatres will be feeling the pinch in the recession. It is our patriotic duty to go to the theatre and I intend to go in 2009 much more than before.

  25. Angela: I agree with you. Keeping our very varied Arts communities in business is good for us all.

  26. ” It was reckless lending by all those bankers, whose greed and deceit seems almost to have discredited the very idea of capitalism.”

    Maybe we could ‘chutney and feather’ the bankers.

  27. You can understand why Gotham City turned to a vigilante (Batman) to administer justice, can’t you? Conventional justice is failing us; our Home Secretary is out of her depth and is an absolute joke. Our Prime Minister has summoned two previously discredited attack dogs to assist him and apparently they are about to launch a wave of smears and spin at the Tory Party. The police, many of whom still valiantly try to do their jobs, are fighting a losing battle against crime. Some policemen abuse the democratic rights of MPs and make a mockery of our freedoms.

    Is it any wonder the citizens of Gotham put their faith in Batman, who cared for justice so much he was prepared to sacrifice himself so the image of Harvey Dent as a hero remained untarnished and they still had something to still believe in? Because “sometimes the truth isn’t good enough.
    Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.”

    In the style of the best Hollywood film trailers… (DEEP DRAMATIC VOICE SPEAKS) “In a city’s darkest hour…. when danger threatens…. when financial ruin stares us in the face….. when all hope seems to have died…. A HERO ARISES!!!”

    Yup! We still have Boris Johnson!

  28. Joking aside, conventional justice is failing ordinary people. They are ripped off by banks and mortgage companies through unexplained charges daily while the government stands by and watches. People applying for the refund of overly harsh bank charges, after more than a year, are still waiting. If your bike is pinched, or your pocket is picked, or your house is broken into, the police are so overstretched, you might as well wave your losses goodbye. The process of suing others is arduous, and often you cannot get a solicitor to take your case, even if you can afford one.

    Is it any wonder people would turn to Batman, were one available? Or Don Corleone? “Godfather, my daughter was attacked/I was robbed/my wife was knocked down by a car/my house was burgled! The perpetrators have wealthy familes/cannot be found/say they are innocent and the judge did nothing! Give me justice, Don corleone!”

  29. This is the reason that the film THE DARK KNIGHT has been so hugely popular, and resonates with millions. The idea that there is a strong, caring figure, prepared to fight for justice, SIMPLY BECAUSE THAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, is very powerful and appealing when most people at this time feel that in spite of the oily PR and spin emanating from our leaders, nobody is concerned with right and wrong in any way whatsoever. We all know that all they care about is staying in power, and that they would do things which were not to our benefit to accomplish that. We all know that, even people who never think about politics.

  30. Well, Jesus, how bad could this Chutney have been? I mean, whether it was gifted to deserving party supporters or not, it was made. And yet, it appears not to have been distributed.’

    Did the Mayor spearhead some bizarre ritual whereby the castoff chutney of a thousand Sloanes is laid upon a million proles?

  31. Also: no bloody luck with the Lambo. Goddam Canada Customs no doubt. So the least you could expect is a bit of the normal report of whether this year’s Porsche lived up to last year’s!

  32. Walking through Leicester Square today, there is a ticket booth that sells theatre tickets. They were offering tickets to all the shows for HALF PRICE and the queue stretched right round the Square. LOOKED PROMISING.

  33. Please, Mr. Johnson see a cosmetic dentist. You are a public figure and your incisors remind one of a wolf, can you please get them capped?
    Otherwise, your a very enjoyable pol.

  34. Valerie, usually the Mayor’s suit is rumpled, his hair looks like he has just fallen out of bed, his socks don’t match and he has quite a fat tummy. In spite of all this, women are hurling themselves at him in droves. Can you explain this phenomenon?

  35. Have you thought of marketing the chutney as Boris’s Special Blend of Chutney? Paul Newman made two mill. from his salad dressing. It would go down in a big way with your adoring fans, you could give part of the profits to charity.

  36. Well, it’s documented he MADE the chutney. The only question is, did he distrubute the chutney.

    Boris, have you got my address? Seriously, chutney qualifies as an exotic import in Canada.

  37. Yo Boris!

    You have such a warm and easy going manner. I recognise that cheeky look 😉

    Boris, I’ve accidentally pressed the wrong button on Twitter. Can you ask again for me please ? I was so chuffed i rushed inot it too fast and now I sem locked out.

    Warmest regards,

  38. my spelling’s horrendous.

    inot? Sounds like Inuit!
    sem? Sounds like Stem… ooo

    Ok, (wondering what to do here, like … yikes).

    um, do you know whose account to connect to …

  39. Oo, Angela,

    I saw your Gotham post
    I’m too stressed to read the other ones.


    Please calm down people & play cricket instead of cat fights. The generation and timewarp game need a firm but gentle hand. Us over here Hong Kong, SAR China are calling on all Londoners to keep the Olympic spirit alive.

    Hk Sandy

  40. Sandy – what did Boris ask you? Your comments make me quite intrigued. Did you say you wanted chutney?

  41. Hi Sandy, didn’t understand your message. What cat fights are you talking about, I never have anything to do with those! What is the generation and the timewarp game? Are you in China?

  42. As a 14 year old girl I would be horrified to recieve chutney as a present (mainly because I do not like chutney), but you obviously put a lot of time and thought into the presents and people should not shirk away from that. Even if they do not like chutney it is the thought that counts.

    But if you are buying rich people (paul Mcartney with his millions, Bill Gates, etc..), people who have a enough money to buy England in its present state. May I suggest that chutney may no be the best present! 😀

    Katy Horgan DMYP

    Ps. In the opening of the 2012 olympics I believe we should have 2012 morris dancers! (please consider!)

  43. Dude (Y)
    there should be 2012 morris dancers. Tis a good idea.

    Flo Simons Future Prime mininster 😀


  44. I totally agree with Boris when he said in his Standard speech “We must not let the green agenda wither in the economic cold…..If 38% of our greenhouse gases are produced by domestic properties, then we should be training and unleashing armies of retrofitters – and saving occupiers a fortune in their bills.”

    This speech of Boris’s in the Standard is a landmark speech. Everyone should read it.


  45. In the next Rugby World Cup, we need a riposte for when the All Blacks do the Haka. This might be just the dance for Martin Johnson’s guys.

  46. I find this relentless callous disregard for the fate of the poor, abandoned chutneys speaks all too eloquently of the tundra-like emptiness of the English heart.

    What of the chutney-making’s carbon footprint?

    Where did the chutneys actually go? Were they disappeared?

    Did they, on the other hand, turn up under the Christmas trees of those who will always consider themselves one of the ones who got the Seasonal Johnsonian Booby Prize?

    You realize, of course, that if these questions are not answered, Boris will never be able to give anyone a jar of chutney in his entire life without the question being raised, ever so quietly…”is this one of those ones?

  47. Well, Raincoaster, as the mystery continues, we could try asking for the recipe. Alas, you have already said that your country views chutney as an “exotic” import and as food carriage regulations are frequently bizarre (tins of beans are not allowed in handluggage because the tomato sauce might be dangerous!), a recipe might be the best we can hope for. We know there will be no damsons in this chutney as the harvest failed (see his earlier post) so I guess lots of apples and brown sugar – but what for the spices?

  48. Gill, I agree, we need the recipe, and the Mayor better cough up, instead of tantalising us with sly details of ambrosial delights. I hope he isn’t doing a Madoff. You know, winding us up and hinting how fabulous this chutney is, without actual details, so it becomes very exclusive and everyone is mad for it and then he sells a few jars at £10,000 a pop! Scarlett Johanssen sold her tissue, that she had sneezed into (and had traces of her phlegm on it) on E-Bay and got over £6,000 for it.

    Do you think they have been in touch?

  49. Hey,bloggers, the Mayor must be under awful pressure what with all the things he has to deal with, massive problems, the recession, GB being a doofus and everything. Let’s take his mind off his problems, by winding him up and making lots of jokes and then that will alleviate the stress for him.

  50. Jaq you have probably heard about the wind turbine that was damaged and they think it was a UFO? I bet it was aliens. THEY HAVE HEARD ABOUT THE CHUTNEY AND THEY WANT SOME TOO!

  51. If it actually was an alien who broke the wind turbine, that would be so so exciting. Because there might be a world of higher understanding, beauty and spirituality trying to contact us, to teach us how to be better people. Alternatively, they might be sussing out the lie of the land to exterminate us all, because of the damage we have done on this planet, like KEANU in one of the very best films of 2008, THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL.

  52. Hi Ros and others
    I have sent Boris an SOS asking for this chutney recipe. Fingers crossed.
    Melissa, webmaster

  53. Who doesn’t want the chutney recipe? I heard Bin Laden was sending his best men after it. If Boris prepared it without gloves it might just be possible to clone him from the chutney and thus raise another Turkish dynasty from the source DNA.

    BTW what IS chutney? I’ve never chutnized, myself. I think it’s illegal in Canada.

  54. Raincoaster, chutney is a sort of pickle, made with vegetables and vingegar, but you can also have fruit chutney.

    “Chutney (Hindi: चटनी caṭnī; Urdu: چٹنی, Bengali: চাটনী), is a term for a variety of sweet and spicy condiments, usually involving a fresh, chopped primary vegetable or fruit with added seasonings. Chutney, as a genre, is often similar to the indian pickle and the salsa of Latin American cuisine, or European relish.”

  55. A huge pat on the back to Justin King and to all his Sainsburys staff. They have bucked the trend to produce record seasonal sales, deservedly winning business from Waitrose and M. and S.

    Mr. King, in my humble opinion, you are pitching it just right. My Camden store was brimful of bargains over Christmas, but also strong on quality and variety. Sainsburys leaves M. and S. trailing in its wake when it comes to choice. The choice is FANTASTIC. Mr. King is planning to open more stores and create more jobs and in this climate, that is genius.

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