Welcome back from holiday Boris

Good idea StevenL!

Let’s hear your views on issues that Boris should concentrate on when parliament resumes in October.

Best answers for a signed latest Boris book.


155 thoughts on “Welcome back from holiday Boris”

  1. Well, apart from writing books to keep us entertained I think you should design a new logo for the Party.

    How about a broom – to suggest that the Conservatives are turning a new leaf and will sweep out the Government?

  2. Ooh, me, me, me! I want a book!

    Actually I’d quite like Boris to spend some time on the chaos of immigration rubbing shoulders with this ‘war on terror’ and the stupid proposal of ID cards, the ridiculous situation at airports and the farce that was 200-od officers to arrest two men and their mum in London. Close the borders or shut up Bliar! Actually Boris, just impeach Bliar for the Iraq war, that’ll do.

    Oh and read Chris Hitchens latest post on Slate magazine, it’s excellent.
    (Peter Hitchens? Who’s he??)

  3. Hey Johnson,
    How about concentrating on developing a social conscience as opposed to being a right wing grabber?

    You and George Bush are made for each other.

  4. Oh, sorry, and welcome back Boris, hope you had a great time. I’ve been dealing with a leading columnist chiding me for being…. female!

    Personally I quite like [Ed: er hum Jaq .. this might be going a little bit too far] …what did you think Boris??

  5. Boris should concentrate on the media and how they sometimes abuse their huge influence over politicians via the medium of scandal and outrage which can often cause politicians into being pressured to resign.

    Boris has experiences this sort of pressure first hand and he is in an ideal position to comment of it.

    Also, you aren’t on tv enough!!!!

  6. the case of Louise Jensen needs to be addressed. Louise jensen was a 23 yr old tour guide who in 1994 was kidnapped from a petrol station in Cyprus by three British soldiers, driven to a remote area, stripped, sexually assulted and then hit over the head with a spade 15 times and buried in a shallow grave. The three men were found guilty of manslaughter only (handy they happened to take a spade with them) as no-one was sure who dealt the final blow! This month one of them (allan ford) was released and the other two will be shortly. they should be re-tried in Britain for murder as they were serving Britain at the time. I know that this is just one case but it is every womens nightmare and highlights the lack of justice women recieve especially when the armed forces are involved. The freeing of these men after serving just twelve years for manslaughter demonstrates to every would-be rapist and murderer that these crimes are acceptable and makes all women feel unsafe wherever we are and therefore diminishes our rights to live freely. Please could Boris help to give Louise jensen and all vitims and would-be victims of crime a voice.

  7. Well….

    Seen as when Boris is in Parliament he is paid from the public purse I think he should concentrate on doing his job, i.e. Shadow Minister for Higher Education and MP for Henley.

    Too many workers in our bloated public sector and in quasi governemnt do not do the jobs people think that they are paying them to do. I’ve worked in the public sector and what amazes me is how people get away with getting involved with barmy projects (usually from John Prescotts old department but I’m sure there are other offenders) that do not one shred of good to anything other than the CV of the worker concerned.

    The council tax payer blindly foots the bill for all of this, the bill does not represent the reality of the ‘services’ that are being funded, i.e. self-service to peoples hard earned cash as if it is some sort of a right public sector workers have earned.

    Seen as Boris’s return coincides roughly with the start of the new academic year (nobody does anything in freshers week but get drunk and party anyway) and the lecturers pay issue is not yet fully resolved I think he is going to be busy enough.

    Basically Boris should go back to basics. He should ask questions reflecting the concerns of his constituents and of stakeholder in higher education. He should be a loyal member of the Shadow Cabinet, helping shape an electable party to ‘sweep out the Government’.

    The dead wood from the Thatcher era is gone now, there seems a good team of electable people ready to get the country back in shape.

    Losing the next general election would be an act of gross incompetance in my view and a disaster for the economy. People just seem to be voting on the strength of their house prices and attributing their new found wealth to Gordon Browns socialist economic policies.

    This government has had the stable Middle East of the Clinton era and worldwide low interest rates helping it along. Now that they actually have economic problems to deal with we are going to see what a useless bunch of usless law makers, economic illiterates and class warriors they really are.

    When Blair goes they will fall apart and never mind Boris, if the Tories are not there as a cohesive political fighting machine, pulling in the same direction they will lose. I for one will find it very hard to forgive the Tories, as Her Majesties Opposition, if they do lose the next election due to their own infighting, refusals to modernise and failure to tackle the narrow-minded, ivory tower ‘I’m all right Jack’, attitudes within their own core voters.

  8. Love your comments Ed and k

    Ed: so valid makes me crack up; and frank with it

    k: good to be reminded of this outrage – reading your account made me shiver

    Boris will have some interesting food for thought on his return at the end of this week….

  9. You are a winner StevenL

    And how right you are with constituency priorities too

    You are a total star

  10. I also find your House of Commons website is difficult to navigate. I know you are closed and there isn’t much happening the next few weeks but it takes a while to find what you are looking for.

    A lot of the bills ammend laws that are not published on the Office of Public Sector Information

    (what happened to ‘Her Majesties Stationary Office’ – yet another swift strike at the removal of those things British and their replacement by thos things European days after the last election when they thought we wouldn’t notice)

    website. The public have to rely of politically biased commentry in newspapers that often misrepresent the facts to find out what on Earth goes on in there.

    Here is a link for everyone of bills before parliament:

    [Ed: tried sending you an email but it bounced back….could you make contact at some point?]

  11. I would suggest BJ take a look at this link. A very interesting view point aired on Al Jazeera television. I would act with a sense of urgency however as I am unsure as to how much longer the link will be available.


    I realise this topic is hardly the path less travelled, though it is undoubtedly the major political issue on the agenda at the moment – lest we don’t even get started on Iraq…

  12. I’d like Boris to ask the honourable member for Texas North why private medical care expenses (such as the £400 bill I’ve just suffered to fix a tooth privately) can’t be decuted, visavis tax, from my gross salary.

  13. Beware Cowboy Dentists!

    Here are the warning signs…

    … ‘Open wide, hmmm, oh dear, who put these metal fillings in?’

    ‘You did a few years ago when you were an NHS dentist’

    ‘We’ve moved on since then, research is actually showing that NHS fillings can slowly poison and kill you’

    ‘Slowly poison and kill me? Why did you put them in then?’

    ‘Thats why we left the NHS they want to slowly poison and kill you, and pull out all your teeth to put in a dental museum’

    ‘Honestly? What should I do?’

    ‘You’ll have to have them replaced with nice white ones, we can clean your teeth for you as well and book an appointment with our new hygienist, the blonde one you saw on the way in, she will show you how to brush your teeth’

    ‘I see are you going to drill me then?’

    ‘No, you will have to book an appointment at reception, do you have a credit card?’

    ‘Yes why? Because you owe us £50’…..

  14. … 2 weeks later

    ‘Open wide, you’ve been using an old toothbrush haven’t you’

    ‘No I opened a new one 3 days ago’

    ‘Opened a new one? You mean you are still using a manual toothbrush? No wonder your teeth are in this state!’

    ‘What do you mean manual? What else is there?’

    ‘Look at that picture on the wall, the one of Tom Cruise, he uses an ACME deluxe rechargeable toothbrush’

    ‘Really? I thought he had cosmetic surgery’

    ‘Honestly you believe all that rot you read in the tabloids? Talking of rot, if you don’t change your toothbrush in the new two weeks these three at the back will fall out’

    ‘Fall out? In two weeks? Are you sure?’

    (at this point the ‘hygienist’ will push her fake breasts into the back of your head for ‘re-assurance’)

    ‘Look I have been doing this job for ten years now, when I say your teeth are going to fall out in two weeks unless you buy a new toothbrush I know what I’m talking about’

    ‘But two weeks, the dentist never said things were that urgent’

    ‘Look, would I come to where you work and tell you how to do your job Mr Lynch?’

    ‘No, I guess not’

    ‘Well isn’t it a bit rude of you to come to where I work and tell you how to do mine?’

    ‘Yes, I’m sorry, I’ll go down to Argos and buy an electric toothbrush today’

    ‘Argos? Are you mad? They’ll fall out next week if you buy a cheapskate toothbrush from there’

    ‘Well how do I get an ACME’

    ‘It’s OK Mr Lynch, we’ve got your credit card details, you’ve signed up as a patient haven’t you, the receipt will be ready for you on the way out’

  15. The big one, the fillings…

    ‘How are you finding your new toothbrush Mr Lynch?’

    ‘It’s OK I guess’

    ‘Open wide, hmmm, so we are doing these two at the back today’

    ‘Yes can we get it over with, I hate fillings’

    ‘Well first thing I need to know what sort of injection you want’

    ‘What sort? I didn’t know there was more than one sort’

    ‘Well I can give you the normal one and you’ll be able to eat again by lunchtime tomorrow or I can give you the one we normally give the children’

    ‘Whats that?’

    ‘Well we use this bubblegum flavour cream to numb you up a bit before the needle goes in and it’s a better anesthetic, the cheaper one we normally give you is the NHS anesthetic’

    ‘Whats the difference’

    ‘Well NHS anesthetic doesn’t numb you up right down to the root, so the drilling will hurt when I remove those deep drilled NHS fillings you need removing, you see the NHS want your fillings to hurt so you clean your teeth twice a day’

    ‘and the other anesthetic will numb me down to the root?’

    ‘Yes you’ll be able to eat at tea time as well, with NHS anesthetic you will have to fast for 24 hours of the filling will drop out and that will cost you another £75’

    ‘Is the non-NHS anesthetic more expensive’

    ‘Not in the long run, like I say if your new white fillings fall out thats another £75 isn’t it? The new anesthetic will only cost you £69.99 and you get a new head for your ACME free of charge, looking at those back teeth you need anew head for your ACME or they will fall out in two weeks..’

    To be continued … next time you have toothache

  16. Thank you melissa, however it is not simply enough for us to sit they tut-tutting about this outrage and telling each other that these things happen all the time. These things happen because no one speaks for the victims-more media attention (inc bbc) has been given to Victoria Beckhams hair and big brother than to the release of these men. This kind of behaviour angers most women and makes us feel that mp’s and the media do not consider crimes against women to be “real crimes”. This is why most young women do not vote-parties want our vote but they won’t protect us. If the tories want to win the next election than the easist way to do it is to start demanding justice for women through the imprisonment of those who used the manslaughter loophole to get away with murder. Then we might vote!

  17. I think ‘k’ makes a valuable point about engaging the female voter.

    Adequate policing and effective punishment are policies to engage ALL voters and will make our society a better place – good point ‘k’.

  18. Build more prisons and divert cash from pointless public sector departments (ODPM) to the Immigration service.

    Oh hang on, isn’t there a freeze on the Home Office budget?

    Thats right Ruth Kelly’s ‘department’ must need some more cash for some crazy non-jobs initiative.

  19. Firstly, I’d like to see him get England on an equal footing with Scotland and Wales, which means creating English Conservatives and establishing an English parliament. To give Scottish and Welsh voters self-determination and then deny it to England, complaining that England is too large and/or too powerful, is utterly stupid. If that is the case, how did the U.K. parliament ever work? To deny the English their right to democracy and existence is undemocratic and borders on racism. I’d like Boris to champion the cause of Englishmen everywhere, because people will listen to him! Anyone who believes in the future of the Union and England should back an English parliament, not ‘English votes on English matters’. I can’t see how it would ever work.

    Secondly, I’d like Boris to champion the right for everyone to voice his or her opinion without being labelled as a racist, bigot etc. Political correctness is destroying politics itself, along with the country.

    Thirdly, and probably the largest problem which we today face, is immigration. The Tories should seize back their traditional stronghold with regard to immigration. The system needs to be sorted out immediately and requires proper debate (see second point to with relevance to this).

    Fourthly, I’d like to welcome Boris back! I’ve missed his well-informed and sensible articles in the Telegraph. I’m looking forward to the return of Parliament.

    p.s. Apologies for the sternness of these opinions, but I feel very strongly about them and wish that someone would attempt to address them. That’s your cue, Boris!

  20. I agree with Andy. Boris it’s time to really stand for the things we hold dear, not being bullied into silence by the vocal,extreme left minority.

    Andy – you shouldn’t feel the need to apologise for what you said!

  21. I agree with Andy too, at least about his first point. We definitely need to have England put on an equal footing with Scotland and Wales. An English Assembly would be best, but any plan which makes progress in that direction is good.

    Civil Liberty is the most important issue to me at the moment by a long way, but this imbalance is also important.

  22. To continue one of andys points i agree that a proper debate is needed on immagration, i also feel that an independat report is written on immagration and illigal immargration, as we need acurate figers to do with immagration a look to there place in the british economy and what would happen if they wernt there. many people, including the Daily Mail politicl editor Mr Reid belive belve that the contayry would function perfectly well without them but until we’ve a detailed and unbust facts on the situation we cant make any proper decisons.

  23. How about a return to Have I Got News For You? Forget what Conservative Central Office tell you and do the show again. It’ll really raise your profile and promote the idea that you should be Prime Minister ;o)

  24. On the immigration topic I’ll never forget the conversation I had over breakfast with a Malaysian illegal immigrant one morning in a London youth hostel.

    It was when the whole human rights issue was in the limelight. He asked me to translate in plain English what Tony Blair was saying – I did and he went off on one about how his brother had chosen to get into the USA and was having a much better time than he was doing a few rounds in an illegal minicab.

    He wanted to know why we didn’t run out country more like the USA and put more of our immigrants into the armed forces. I could see his point actually.

    I put this idea to some local government lefties in the pub the next week, without telling them where the idea had originated from. Needless to say they were horrified at the prospect of subjecting these poor people to the rigour and discipline of the military.

    London is full of people with no status who we seem incapable of either deporting or doing anything with. The result is a huge rise in illegal street trading, black economy activities such as illegal minicabs and petty crime.

    None of these people are legally entitled to drive, their cars are registered under false details and no-one does a damn thing about it.

    No tax is paid on any of their economic activities. An amnesty is out of the question as our borders are so porous and we have a huge problem with people smuggling.

    We cannot even make an agreement with China to return illegal immigrants as they refuse. People in the shires are annoyed that the Croatians refugees are still hanging around street corners doing nothing long after the civil war had ended.

    Add to all this the huge strain placed on public services and the bottom end of the labour market by trans-European economic migration and something is going to have to give sooner or later.

    The question is what?

  25. Would Mr Johnson like to ask the opposition why a certain minister was seen at a recent soiree enjoying a joint, and does the Prime Minister agree with his honourable friend that there is one rule for the Government and another set for the rest of us?

  26. He was probably confused about the governments new legal status of cannabis. Come on this is the Home Office that wrote the letter saying it was OK to important magic mushrooms from Holland and sell them on the market, then took three years to sort out the mess whilst they were waving them through customs and slapping 17.5% VAT on.

    What do you expect? It wouldn’t surprise me if half of their policies were dreamed up by some stoned junior minister.

    Having said that if you actually had to work with Gordon Brown and John Prescott turning to drugs would be quite understandable.

  27. I would really like to see Boris do his level best to ensure that ID cards and 90 days detention without trial get put into the Parliamentary dustbin once and for all. I also think that the media has far too much influence on policy. We didn’t vote for The Sun and The Daily Mail.

  28. The Sun and the Mail would say they are only printing what people want to read to sell more papers than the competition and increase their circulation.

    Yeah Bin ID cards though, my driiving licence does just fine.

  29. Well done Andy for raising some important points – Immigration (and Monty your suggestion for a report is good but do we have any faith in government reports now?), devolution and political correctness (though personally my preference would be to do away with the scottish and welsh assemblies and have a United Kingdom once more). One of our well worn phrases (a cause of pride) was that we were ‘a free country’ and sadly that seems to be a thing of the past. Perhaps Boris could indeed address the loss of some of our ancient liberties.

    Steven_L – I love your sense of humour but be careful of giving this government ANOTHER excuse for it’s failure to control narcotics.

    Frunid Graplecard – yes, good one! One rule for the government and another for the rest of us – similar to communist countries/dictatorships in fact – but can Boris draw Blair on whether his son has had the MMR for example? And why suddenly do we need a government police force?

    Davide Simonetti – ID cards and 90 day detention should indeed be scrapped.

    Boris is listening folks!

  30. Monty – yes you did, my apologies for not stating that I’m sceptical about any report the government funds – in my experience the one who pays the piper calls the tune. But it’s a good suggestion. Perhaps the report could also include the impact on the countries the asylum seekers are leaving.

  31. Minister for men – men die 5 years earlier than women. Yet nothing is done about it. Stress is the biggest killer and something Boris will appreciate as he returns from his hols. Perhaps men should be given one morning a week off work to relax at the local health club, see the doctor or attend a coffee morning to relax and undertake some essential networking with other stressed out males. New Labour have already lost the election, it’s just a question of how big the Tory majority will be – so let’s have a Minister for men mentioned some where in the small print at the next election.

  32. ‘Though personally my preference would be to do away with the Scottish and Welsh assemblies and have a United Kingdom once more.’

    This also would be my personal preference, but I long ago realised that, even if a majority of Welsh and Scottish people hated their parliaments, they would still vote overwhelmingly to keep them. They hate Westminster a lot more than their respective parliaments! It is for that reason I didn’t ask for a return to a single U.K. parliament, but instead an English parliament. Anything less is depriving the English of democracy. It’s a massive constitutional anomaly and injustice.

    ‘I also feel that an independent report is written on immagration and illigal immargration.’

    I don’t feel that I could trust an ‘independent’ report on immigration. You can bet that Labour and/or another group would find a way to influence it. The best gauge of opinion is simply to ask everyday people. We live each day with the problems and trials of life; our opinions count more than statisticians and their figures.

  33. Steven, I’m not sure what you’re talking about when you say the US puts their immigrants into the military.

    One would think, what with you being all about the counter-terrorism, that encouraging people from other countries to sign up for the military would be the last thing you’d do. Why does it seem like a good idea to you?

    And one reason the American Military is disproportionally ethnic is that it’s traditionally seen as a way out of the ghetto, so its the people in the ghetto who sign up. If it weren’t for African-Americans, there’d be hardly anyone in the army. But the way the government treated poor people (also disproportionately black) during Katrina has led to a loss of faith, cutting off this formerly dependable supply of cannon fodder. That’s one of the reasons they’re having such trouble recruiting; they just increased the signup bonus by something like 25%, because they’re having to draw from wealthier population pools, and that means money.

    The US doesn’t allow non-citizens to serve in the military, and it’s increasingly selective about those whom it accepts as legal immigrants. Seriously, they’re talking about building a wall between the northern States and Manitoba, to keep illegal immigrants out. Do they actually have illegal immigrants from Manitoba? The last recorded instance was during the Second World War.

    You want to talk about government boondoggles…

  34. I think Boris Johnson really ought to concentrate on righting wrongs and fighting injustice wherever it rears it’s ugly head. He will have to don a red luminous suit, with a cape and wear his underpants on the outside.
    Only then will Saint Tony of Blair be defeated, and common sense will once again Govern the Land.
    Also, income tax for 50 year-old men living in Birmingham with a forename of Malcolm should be set at 1% of all income.

  35. I think Boris needs to point out the misuse of the european human rights act. This act is not being used to protect the innocent as it should be. The act clearly states that countries are obliged to use prison sentences as a deterrant to crime and that the state has a duty to protect all individuels from violent crime. The british government seems to be guilty of breaking the human rights act on a daily basis. To go back to the Louise Jensen case* these men had their murder verdicts quashed in favour of manslaughter mainly because they were drunk and in their twenties at the time! Unless these men are retried for murder the British government will be all but saying that the way those men took Louises life is equivilent to negligence in an accident and giving men a lisence to do what they want to women so long as they make sure they have a few drinks before hand. I do not see how that is fulfilling the duty to deter criminals and protect people.

    *[i know I have mentioned this case in both my other posts before but she was basiclly hacked to death by being hit on face with the sharp edge of a spade 15 times (after, to quote the coroner in the case, being raped and “brutally tortured”) so the fact that the three so-called men who did this (for fun may I add) are now walking around freely in Britain in complete anonimity after serving just ten years for manslaughter has made me more angry, not to mention frightened,than anything else ever has]

  36. k – we hear you and we’re all behind you on this. I think the subject of anonymity is a good one, look at the James Bulger case, they too are free and ready to babysit your children (ah, you never thought of that did you).

    Some columnists, especially in the ‘yoghurt is dangerous’ category, could critisise the emotional element in your point. But how can you detatch emotion when fear is the key? Whatever the statistics show, people are now more afraid to live freely. People react to their emotions.

    The truth is that confidence in the criminal justice system has waned and there is no reason for recovery. Perhaps addressing anonymity, even in debate, even here – prompted by an article from Boris, would be a first step, in addressing the wrongs and the fears in society. Would this be a safer society if we knew who the ‘bad guys’ are, or were?

  37. Someone brought up the Human Rights Act, I’d like to clear up the confusion if I may.

    The European Convention on Human Rights was a treaty that came into force in the UK in 1953, during the post war honeymoon period of European integration. This was a Council of Europe treaty. The Council of Europe pre-dated the EC which was formed of 6 countries by the Treaty of Rome in 1967. The UK joined the EC in 1972 and all 12 Member States joined the EU in 1992. It was the EU that brough us free movement of people, goods, services and capital.

    The text of the ECHR is here:


    The Human Rights Act 1998 was introduced in the honeymoon period of New Labour. In a nutshell is makes the ‘rights’ in the ECHR available as a remedy in UK courts. It also enshrines the Human Rights Act itself as the most important law in the UK, all other laws passed by Parliament must be ‘compatible’ with the ‘convention rights’.

    The latest worrying development is the introduction of the Equality Act 2006. This establishes the ‘Commission for Equality and Human Rights’ and gives the new commission powers of enforcement including putting people on ‘action plans’ and ultimately imposing court orders on people or organisations.

    The bit that gets me about this is that if I try to rent a room in London over half the adverts discriminate against me (a white English male) by specifiying ‘South African male wanted, Asian female wanted. Japanese person wanted etc.

    If I send all of these rascist, sexist adverts to the commission does anyone believe they will do anything to stop publications printing adverts that discriminate against white Englishmen?

    This isn’t just out of spite either, the housing market makes it hard enough to find suitable accommodation in London without people discriminating against you onthe grounds of sex or nationality. I don’t mind living with people of different nationality.

  38. Yes Jaq I agree with you one hundred percent. This is one of the main reasons i support the tories, labour can use as much spin as they want but I would feel safer if the tories were in power and that is all there is to it. labour may harp on about how they encourage women to work etc but I have had to turn down employment because it would have meant walking back home in the dark which would have put my safety at risk. I remember once calling the police after a stranger threatened me and some friends only to be told by the police that I had no right to call them since the stranger had had a row with his girlfriend earlier that day which had made him angry and therefore the incident was a domestic. We got yelled at for wasting police time and he got an apology!

  39. Jaq, as for the idea that the emotional side of the story would be criticised yes I completely agree with you again this is exactly what would happen (unless of course it was the heartbreaking story of the murderer not enjoying prison then of course they would be all ears for emotion). However, this is not just an emotional or moral case it is a legal one. The government are bound by the european human rights act 1998 and the criminal justice act 2003 (which is reterospective) therefore I would think they have a legal obligation to act.

  40. The biggest blunder made by the courts has to be the Afghan hijackers. We now a precident that it is OK to hijack aeroplanes and land then in the UK if you were under ‘duress’ when you did so.

    So anyone wanted in some dodgy 3rd world country can just hijack an airliner and fly to Stanstead.

    How do we know their intentions are to land and not crash the plane as a terrorist attack?

    One noticed that airliner in the security alert the other day on it’s way to Washington DC was ‘escorted’ by two F16 fighet jets. 3 Guess’s what they would have done if the cockpit had been taken by ‘hijackers’ or ‘terrorists’ as the
    Us would have described them as no doubt.

    What is the UK’s contingency plan when a hijacked airliner comes into our airspace? If the pilot is still in control and the plane is on course to land then I can see the arguement for letting it land, but the pilot can be overpowered at the last minute surely and the plane crashed into the terminal? Anyone remember the carnage the Lockerbie bombing caused?

    The Afghan hijack thing has to be the biggest farce ever. I mean what other country would find hijackers not guilty because they came from a dodgy 3rd world war zone. What hijackers don’t come from dodgy 3rd world countries? These people threatened to kill 156 passengers unless they were given refuge in the UK.

    Now our courts are bound to rule in favour of the hijackers if the same circumstances crop up again. The worrying thing is what might look to the authorities like ‘the same circumstances’ whilst the plane is in the air could in fact be a suicide terrorist attack.

    The government does not seem to have passed new legislation to deal with this loophole either.

  41. K,
    RE. Louise Jensen Killers Release
    There exists an offence called something like”murder under the Queens peace” originally intended for parts of the empire with non or ill functioning legal systems. See esp.S9/10 and s53 below.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Offences_Against_The_Person_A ct_1861
    I think a conviction for murder would have stood in the UK.
    They were only ever charged with the lesser crime of manslaughter because the Cypriots decided they were too drunk to have planned it.Maybe it would be considered double jeopardy now but i think Boris should get one of his friends in the House of Commons to look at this case (theres enough lawyers in there after-all)
    The whole remission thing was a sick joke as well. They were not inexperienced youths but 26 and 23. The Cypriots also seem to have forgotten about a serious glassing GBH incident involving Ford a month B4 the killing.Its obvious the Cypriot authorities just wanted them off their hands and out of the “Nicosia Hilton” at the earliest possible opportunity.
    I doubt we ll hear any more about this injustice though (barring another murder by any of these 3)
    as 1) our leaders and leaderwriters dont care about such ‘minor’ things 2) even if they could be bought to trial here, any judge would probably decide it not worth the bother, or that they have already done sufficient time and any additional sentence would be “oppressive to their human rights” Real justice=pandering to the instincts of the “mob” doncha know.

  42. Credit where credit is due, hats of to Blair for any part he played in flogging the Saudis 72 Eurofighter Typhoons.

    The French did their best to stuff up the Eurofighter in the mid 80’s instisting that it could launch from their aircraft carriers. After much whingeing they pulled out and annouced the ‘Rafale’.

    They haven’t managed to find any serious buyers for thr Rafale despite the numerous test drives they have been offering. I’m so upset by this news.

  43. Insomniac,
    The thing is, there is no double jeopardy rule now since the 2003 criminal justice act was bought in.
    But no we will not hear anything about this case UNLESS people like us make a fuss and demand that the law is applied. Recently a butcher was convicted of the murder of a 15 year old girl, the judge (stephen Kramer I think) said on passing sentence that the fact that he was drunk and motivated by sexual desire made him a danger to all women and therefore he was given life to mean life. This gives a precedent to disallow a defence of drunkeness (murder is still murder whether premeditated or not and it was handy they happened to have a spade with them on a drinking binge with which to bury a body) and give a life for life sentence to these three men. Louise and other victims of crime can no longer speak for themselves but we can so if we all petition MP’s, the eu parliament (this can be done easily by going to the european parliments homepage and following the link to the petitions page-it will take all of five minutes), newspapers, womens rights groups, danish mps etc we might be able to get this case heard. If no-one ever stood up for what was right then we would still be living in a country where only a handful of people had any rights.

  44. Before a new Tory administration introduces any new legislation it should remember the old woodworker’s adage: ‘Measure twice, cut once’. Far, far too much of the current government’s legislation has been grotesquely ill thought out and rushed.

    Even better, how about getting rid of some of the old legislation before introducing new. (or isn’t that possible?)

  45. …and then there is the tax system

    I was amazed the other day when I got a letter from HM Customs and Revenue telling me I paid too much tax last year.

    Today I want down to my local tax office hoping to order my cheque like you used to be able to (they just used to write down your name and address then 3 weeks later a cheque would turn up).

    The conversation went a bit like this..

    ‘Hi, you sent me a letter to tell me I paid too much tax last year, I’ve come to order my refund’

    ‘You can’t do that here you have to send the letter back with your P45 or P60’

    ‘Well the problem is my P60 is in London and my P45 from my other job got lost when I moved away from university to start work’

    ‘You’ll have to get your P60 from London then and write to your other employer, they have to keep records for 7 years’

    ‘But I used to just come down here, you’d look me up on the computer, I’d have a quick glance to see if I had paid too much tax, you’d write down my name and address and I’d get sent a cheque 3 weeks later, can’t we just do that again?’

    ‘No we don’t know if you’ve paid too much tax, your employers don’t give us all the information we need’

    ‘So how come you wrote and told me I paid too much tax if you didn’t know’

    ‘You might not have paid too much tax, that’s why we need your P60 and P45’

    ‘Can’t we check on the computer?’

    ‘No we don’t have that information here’

    ‘We this is the tax office, I pay my tax to you guys, don’t you keep a record of it?’

    ‘I’m sorry with self assessment you have to send the P60 and P45 in’

    At this pint I turn to the long faces sat waiting to see a tax officer, pull a face like I’m about to tear out my hair and say ‘please vote the tories back in’

    The woman behind the counter just kinds of looked at me and nodded.

    Why is it every time this government say they are going to cut waste and bureaucracy (like by merging HM Customs and the Inland Revenue) they just manage to somehow create more bureaucracy?

    If this is the result of going ‘forward not back’ can you imagine what it will be like if they get a fourth term?

    There will probably be someone from the local highways department with powers to come around at any time of the day and inspect your tyres for baldness. Of course they will have to give you an array of leaflets about road safety whilst they are at it.

    They already want to make a huge satellite that watches where you drive and send you a bill every month. This will be coupled with a giant call centre somewhere in the Outer Hebredes where you phone on an 0870 number and talk to a machine about why your bill is wrong (presumably because your vehicle registration details has been stolen from said call centre and programmed into some drug dealers new Porsche which you spend the next 6 months paying for to drive around London day and night at threat of having your Ford Fiesta crushed).

    Then there will be the inspector from the ‘waste and environmental management department’ who will snoop through your 3 different bins at 6am in the morning and leave you an £80 fixed penalty notice for putting the wrong kind of cardboard in the blue one.

    And last but not least the local community police support officer from the crime prevention unit will come to tell you that you have to remove the spikes on your iron railings in case a burgular falls out of your bedroom window and gets impailed on the. Failure to do so will result in prosecution under the Criimianl Justice(Rehabilitation of Offenders) (Householders Responsibilities) Act 2009

  46. K,
    I doubt if writing to MP’s waste paper baskets would do anything to remedy this particular injustice. (I doubt Boris even reads these posts anyway).I m unaware of any precedent for a second criminal prosecution for the same killing in this country when the killers have already served some time elsewhere. But i m not a legal expert and certainly if it COULD be done it SHOULD be done in this case.
    The problem is, the time served or sentencing in UK would hardly have been for longer.
    About 10 years ago a swiss aupair was raped and battered to death in Dunstable. (She drowned in her own blood).The guy had a history of rape but he’s still eligible for parole in 2010 which means he ll be out not long after. Overcrowded prisons and a lack of political will are to blame. When they abolished the death sentence they LIED to the public that life would mean a natural life term. Nobody but the most notorious serial killers stay inside for that.In Cyprus they WERE jailed for natural life but it was reduced on appeal to 25 years of which they served under half. IF the case could be taken up here the likely outcome would be a rejection of any further prison term on the grounds that the one already served fell within the sentencing guidelines for the UK.

  47. Insomniac
    The natural life sentence was handed down for the conviction of murder. It was reduced to 25 yrs for manslaughter in 1996 when the murder conviction was quashed (in effect they were aquitted of murder). Therefore Louises killers have not served time for murder so I am certain they can be retried for murder in Britain. For murder of this type it is possible to serve a life meaning life sentance as can be seen from the Rochelle Holness case.
    I agree with your point about MP’s reaction though but if enough publicity is generated (especially in denmark-remember Blairs sanctimonious attitude to denmark over a few offensive cartoons) surely the british government would be stopped from brushing this under the carpet. if one looks at it there appears to be a strong coralation between length of sentance and media attention. I think this case would really draw attention to the armys lax attitude towards crime and the crimes against women this has caused (such as the murder of sally geeson in 2005. Even if the case was rejected these men would have to live in a country where everyone knew who they were and what they had done which would at least be better than the current situation

  48. would it not be great if everyone could get together and take Blair to the court of human rights over britains failure to use prison sentances as a deterent and his failure to protect people. No chance it would ever happen but I can dream

  49. K,
    I think you are factually wrong on the first point. As i remember the original conviction WAS for manslaughter but the sentence was thought to be “unduly harsh” and reduced in 1998.I dont have a newspaper link for a 94/96 article but i know Robert Fisk wrote about the original trial in the Independent.You are right that there has been little recent publicity given to their release. The TV news bulletins would rather devote airtime to the Jonbennet Ramsay case in the USA ,a murder that concerns the UK in no way at all. On the off-chance that Boris reads this i hope an MP or someone with a legal background will look into this case to see if further charges can be brought. Anyone out there working in the legal profession care to give us their opinion?

  50. K,

    Unfortunately I do not think that there is anything in either the COE Convention on Human Rights or the Human Rights Act 1998 that would allow the electorate to sue the government over the lawful release of criminals in accordance with national law.

    Best bet is to vote them out asap. What we see every day in the UK is the result of going ‘forward not back’. ‘Forward to where?’ I asked a few Labour supporters before the last election. They didn’t have a clue, they just didn’t want to go ‘back’ to having a Conservative government.

    I was too young to remember Thatcherism in any meaningful way. Although I did get a good education under Thatcher. Seeing the garbage kids are being taught these days is the only way I can make a comparision myself.

    What baffles me is why labour are so opposed to building more prisons when it is obvious we need them. They waste countless millions on silly projects that never do anyone (other than those administering them) an ounce of good, yet will not put money into securing our borders and keeping dangerous criminals off the streets.

    The only thing I can think of is that if criminals are not in prison they can vote, and will not vote tory because they don’t want a government who is tough on crime. They seem to have done an exceedingly good job of brainwashing migrants that the tories are the ‘nasty’ party, when many mirants to this country have strong family / regilous cultures that are best described as conservative. Labour have slowly eroded family values and their left (the Red Kens of this world) seem to be the ones making the best links with those cultures that value family / religion the most (even though Marxism advocates the abolishing of religion).

    I can only assume it’s all about staying in power, the unfairness of devolution to England, mass immigration, keeping criminals on the streets; all about vote winning if you ask me.

    Remember more English voters voted tory than labour at the last election. Is there no limit what they will do to stay in power?

  51. I am fairly certain that the original conviction was for murder but even if I am wrong then my point still stands-these men have not been convicted of murder.
    secondly the european human rights act means that all laws in the uk must be in accordance with the act In short I am sure the human rights act overides UK law. Therefore, if any act (whether in accordance with national law or not) breaches the human rights act it is illegal.
    As a woman who was nearly kidnapped by a car of drunken twenty-something men I feel that my human rights are being seriously infringed upon everyday, whatever the uk law says, by the use of drunkenness and age to turn a murder conviction (or charge) to one of manslaughter.

  52. Look up the case of julie hogg. The man who murdered her was formally aquitted but then confessed and was sentenced to six years in prison for perjury. Under the criminal justice act the cps (i think it was them) applied for a retrial for murder even though he had served time for a crime that was a direct result of the orginal murder.

  53. K,

    Being drunk just reduces your inhibitions, it doesn’t make a non-violent person violent. When I’m drunk I have tendancy to be silly, because I am a bit silly (as I’m sure Melissa will testify, her being on the receiving end of a drunken email the other day).

    Some people get all ‘loved-up’ when they are drunk because they are ‘touchy-feely’ people anyway. ‘The drink made me do it’ is no excuse and I believe that under English common law it is no excuse in court to argue that you were drunk when you committed the offence.

    In the original horrific case you cited you say that no-one was found guilty of murder because no-one knew who dealt the final blow. In an English court I would imagine all three would have been found guilty of murder (unless two of the accused had fingered the other for the actual murder).

    What you said about the police not taking seriously your complaint about threatening behaviour is not a fault of the courts but highlights the worrying way in which the police seem to prioritise things these days.

    That recent case about the paedophile who was given life by the judge, but because of Home Office sentencing guidelines may be out in 5 years, highlights the problem with the courts.

    New Labour seem happy to pass the buck down the ladder when it is in fact ministers that should bear responsibility for matters of crime and justice. The pro-labour media are often all too happy to blame the courts and judges for what seems like gross injustice to any ordinary person. That fact is that it is the government who make law, impose sentencing guidelines and refuse to build more prisons.

    They can’t even deport foreign criminals who have served their sentences. Of course the ‘human rights’ lobby come out of the woodwork and say this is like being punished twice. In my view this is sheer rot. Living in the UK is not a ‘right’ foreign nationals have, it is a priviledge that we should be able to remove if appropriate.

    Of course the pro-mass immigration ‘human rights’ lobby would like you to think that everyone should have the right to come and live here. Many of these jobsworths depend on rubbish new labour legislation and new labour non-jobs to keep them in cushy ivory tower middle class surroundings where they don’t have to put up with crime first hand.

  54. Steven,
    I could not agree with you more. The labour government fought and fought for power yet they refuse to take the resposibility that comes with it. They use the “it is not our fault it is the law” get out constantly yet forget to mention that they are the ones who make the law. It is about time that labour are bought to accountability.
    As far as I can see Blairs Britains biggest import is criminals and our biggest export is employment

  55. ‘As far as I can see Blairs Britains biggest import is criminals and our biggest export is employment’ (k)

    I’ve never thought of it like that, but it’s exactly what a lot of people are thinking. As a working class young man who wants to work I often feel that Labour value benefit cheats and petty criminals as much as they do me. I’ve never been a tax dodger, buy ‘UK duty paid’ cigarettes, haven’t got any of my school friends pregnant and have never asked for any kind of help with housing. If I had got a few school friends pregnant, bought all my cigarettes off crooks, got a cash in hand job when I left school and lived on benefits I reckon Id’ be a lot better off.

    All this ‘no inflationary pay rise’ nonsense doesn’t cut the mustard with me. I just want to strangle the man every time he says it. This is the Chancellor who is such an economic illiterate he had to get the banks to run the economy.

    What I want to hear is that he is following the recommendations in the Gershon report, laying off all the pointless non-jobs in the civil service and quasi government. I want him to abolish tax credits and raise tax allowances.

    All this man has done is punish those of us who have lived our lives responsibly and rewarded the criminal classes with shed-load of state handouts. Why do you think this is? Those members of the criminal class that bother to vote invariably vote labour.

    Party of the working class? Codswallop, party of the criminal class more like. But then we have to value ‘equality’ and if we don’t we are ‘nasty’ tories. ‘Meritocracy’ is becoming an ugly word in todays politically correct shambles of a society.

  56. When Johnson gets back from his ill deserved ‘leave’ he should concentrate on getting another job because he’s useless at the one he’s got.

    “A man who never works never has a holiday”

  57. Steven L
    Its no good saying the answer is to throw the rascals out.
    I remember Thatcher and I would nt count on the tories to be any better in this regard. More prison places require more income tax rises to pay for them, something tories are just as reluctant to do as new labour even if “prison Works” was a good slogan for them.

    Keeping murderers locked up for good is very popular amongst the public but never translates into an election issue for politicians.
    The reason,apart from the above, is that most people vote for whoever they think will make them marginally financially better off compared to the other main party.(Hence the voting category ‘ten-bob tories’)That and a FPTP voting system that ensures domination for the duopoly Lab-Con as they try to woo the swing voters in key marginals, mean the effectively “wasted votes” of millions.Thats certainly not ‘democracy’ in any sense of the people as whole getting what they want on many important issues.

  58. K,
    The question is can the legal wheels be made to turn or not and how?

    Its not just a question of what the law says but of who interprets and enforces it.
    Most judges are white males of a certain age,rich (and liberal because they feel guilty about that).For that reason whenever i see anyone quote the EU ‘Human Rights Act’ my eyes glaze over.

    You seem to post here a lot but if you want to raise awareness of this injustice a bit more you might try a wider audience like
    the guardianunlimited talk internet site
    or the bbc talkback-have your say site.
    If you start a thread there on this topic i ll be happy to add or paste something.
    I m glad someone else feels the same way as me about this crime.

    And another…http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1854291,00.html

    I suppose the fact that their car fuel tank had petrol in it will count as mitigation!

  59. Insomniac
    Thanks for that advice I really appreciate it. I have been contacting womens rights groups asking for advice on how to go about an “official campaign” so to speak.

    As to how to make life meaning life prison sentences an election issue: well, young, professional women are one of the biggest groups who do not vote. therefore whichever party manages to get their vote stands the biggest chance of winning. The issue most women in this group feel most strongly about-crime and the lack of justice.
    Once politicians realise that women under thirty-five are not obsessed by child-care issues (as their patronising pledges to women would make one think-I almost expect to hear that labour will be introducing a minister for the promotion of fluffy kittens to appeal to the female vote!) and start tackling the issues that will attract younger women as well as the general population then we should start to see progress.

  60. Oh Steven, how sad. I was in complete agreement until you got to Hoover. By the time you got to Bush, I was shaking my head going “Why, why did I ever think I could agree with this man?”

    Insomniac, I don’t know about the BBC, but this site gets ten thousand hits a day, which is not to be sneezed at. It has influence. And, having been a commentor at the Guardian since they began allowing it I can say definitively that the vast majority of “discussion” over there seems to have been typed into the ether by zookeepers interpreting for one of the lower primates. Seriously, it’s shocking when you come across a meaningful and informative comment there, and quite a significant degree of blame must go to the people who designed their cyberspace. By its structure, it encourages consequence-free conflict, thoughtless remarks, and trolling.

    I could get into why, but I’d have to invoice somebody for that.

  61. You still touting for work raincoaster? I’m in demand myself, my old employer is begging me to come back.

    Who’s your favourite politician then raincoaster? Michael Foot Neil Kinnock? Ken Livingstone? Probably Fidel Castro or Hugo Chevez.

  62. k – add me to insomniacs list (especially as thoughtless neighbours make sleep impossible) I too am behind your campaign so if you wnat to widen the net, give me a shout and I’ll support.

    raincoaster – so glad you gave that appraisal, when I’ve been commenting on sites as I’d nothing else to do but sit painfully and wait to heal, I got very frustrated. One thing I’ve noticed is that the Daily mail never publish anything that isn’t sycophantic, you have to start off with ‘you’re fantastic’ before you can end with ‘but just a minor point’. Only my jokey comments are ever published on the mail, no serious comment, ever. Is that a description of the newspaper do you think?

    All hail Boris for giving us a true public forum.

    Boris for PM.

  63. The consideration of this governments influence over criminal justice in all it’s forms (including it’s attempt to scrap trial by jury, lawful protest, Iraq and the formation of SOCA) has caused me to include a quote from ‘Taki’ – whether it is the Taki that Boris knows well I cannot say, but here is the quote:

    “All governments are monopolies of organized force, inherently unjustifiable. And once accepted, they are bound to get out of control sooner or later. No, there is no longer a Right or a Left”

    The article, worth reading IMHO, can be found here: http://www.amconmag.com/2006/2006_08_28/taki.html

  64. Jaq and insomniac-you are both great. i really want to start a campaign up (organising peaceful protests/vigils, online protests, petitions as well as general media/public/political awareness) so I could do with as much help as possible if you really want to get involved (it would not even take up much time). I am not to sure about giving my email addy out here (what do you think)but i think I will probably set up a blog dedicated to it so that people can get in contact with me. I have to finish my thesis today but i will get onto it all properly tomorrow, thanks again

  65. ‘No, there is no longer a Right or a Left’ (Jaq)

    There is so. Tax credits = left, means testing = left, not being able to get the tax I overpaid last year without jumping through hoops = left, giving back our rebate to the new EU member states for nothing in return = left, heavy regulation and huge bureaucracy = left, revaluing your home improvement / views from your window for council tax = left, uncontrolled immigration = left, the human rights act and quasi government organisations to lobby about human rights = left, dumbing down education = left.

    There so is a left, we are sleepwalking into living in a huge soviet-style bureaucracy, I call it ‘slap on the wrist stalinsim’.

    Blair might not be too ‘left’ but his party sure are. Look at the new hunting legislation and how much the parliamentry labour party wanted that!

    Blair is in a position where he has to take into account reality, his party don’t seem to know the meaning of the word.

  66. I agree with many of the comments made here. I particularly liked Andy’s comments and I am in complete agreement with everything that has been said in relation to sentencing. There is probably a link between the two with immigration contributing to the need for massive prisons. There is a very strong correlation between levels of corruption in country of origin and levels of corruption shown by immigrants from these countries. America with a high immigrant population has a huge prison population and in California they need triple bunks to cope with the over-crowding. They have the same problems we do with sentences for serious crimes being decreased because of the huge strain placed on the prison system.

    I don’t think people should be put in jail for less serious crimes however. Old ladies who don’t pay their council tax should be punished in some other way than taking up prison beds that should be reserved for serious crime (rape/murder).

    I don’t know whether it already exists but there needs to be a body of people with the right to consider the long term interests of the country. One of the great flaws of representative democracy seems to me to be that the enforced timeframes guided by the electoral period are not conducive to parties considering the long term implications of what they are doing.

    There are lots of things that don’t make fiscal sense in the short term but do in the long term. Issues to do with the environment are a point in case.

    As is reproduction. If you want to avoid the problems associated with the immigration of people to the UK who are a poor cultural match you need to ensure that your native population have children but this involves longer term planning and investment.

    This could be expensive and difficult to achieve but it’s seriously important.

    However even little things might make a difference to the lives of women who work and have children.

    It would be great if councils kept lists of women who have children in the area. If they did women could develop informal groups to look after their children. You could have a couple of women take the day off work and look after all the other mother’s children. They could all take it in turns to do this. Grandparents could do this too with a few grandmothers getting together to look after the local babies and toddlers for the day. To me this sounds better than some money making nursery with a bored seventeen year old being paid minimum wage.

    What else? I can understand why Bush etc thought Iraq was a good plan but it showed a limited understanding of human nature in the region. Its like if you were a writer imagining how your idea for the play ‘Democratic Iraq– the Musical’ would pan out you got all the characters and the motivations messed up. What has happened was totally predictable if you use stereotypes and look at history. Stereotyping is a dirty word and it has many problems. However it can be predictive in a pinch and it is one of the reasons why stereotypes exist. Iraq may still become a loose federation over time though which would be positive but it is unlikely to happen in the short term.

  67. Iraq would be a lot better if:

    a) France and Germany had helped in the first place

    b) Iran stopped sponsoring terrorists /insurgents

    c) Syria stopped sponsoring terrorists / insurgents

    Maybe if France found a decent leader things might get better.

  68. Steven, with all due respect, you’re full of cow patties. I’m as far left as they come, but I haven’t heard of half the things you say are definitive lefty things. You’re so driven by doctrinaire preconceptions that you wouldn’t recognize Che Guevera if you fell over him in the smoking section.

  69. K (or Kerven),
    This blog (written by a convicted murderer)(http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/erwin_james/2006/08/danish_tour_guide_killing_too.html
    might be a good place to post(as i will later)then you might want to start a thread in the talk section of the same paper.
    I imagine a lot of journos read the “talkback” sections of the national papers for comment on how they report the news.
    Best to get yourself a free anonymous webmail address from the likes of yahoo.com if you want to give out your email addy.

    I assumed mainly constituents and fans of Boris posted here but i m glad to hear that he reads the posts and comments.

  70. Hate to say it, but Raincoaster is right. Surely anyone who is seriously interested in promoting intelligent debate knows that as soon as they start using phrases like ‘politically correct’ and making implicit (but unsubstantiated) links between ‘immigration’ and ‘asylum seekers’ – there is a difference and it might help your case if you demonstrate you know it – and crime, it serves only to confirm prejudices on both sides.

  71. ‘I’m as far left as they come, but I haven’t heard of half the things you say are definitive lefty things’ (raincoaster)

    That’s because politics moves on raincoaster. This is the 21st century, why should the majority of the public, who manage fine under free market capitalism, have to be subjected to the insane ramblings of Karl Marx by you lefties all the time.

    Every communist state in history has either failed its people or committed appalling human rights abuses.

    Communism is driven through jealously. Just face it raincoaster some people are born rich, some people are not. I will probably never be able to afford to buy a Ferrari in my life but if you and your communist buddies had won the cold war no-one would be building them (or they would be building them solely for the ‘ruling class’) and I wouldn’t even be able to go and enjoy a track day in a Ferrari or save up to hire one for the weekend.

    Free market capitalism encourages innovation and social mobility through merit. We need rich people to buy expensive cool things. If there is no-one to buy these cool things no-one will make them and the human race is poorer for it.

    When the Berlin wall came down what did the Eastern Europeans want? Communism? Not a chance they had seen it, they wanted free market capitalism and to trade with the West.

    As for Che Guevera here is an interesting extract from his wikipedia entry

    ‘Through his first-hand observations of the poverty, oppression and powerlessness of the masses, and influenced by his informal Marxist studies, Guevara concluded that the only solution for Latin America’s economic and social inequities lay in revolution’

    Look, revolution = civil war, when will you Marxists get it through your heads that we don’t want a civil war, we like the Queen and we don’t want to chop Boris’s head off!

    If you are so bothered about the poverty of the masses why don’t you go volunteer to do some charity work in the 3rd world or something? If you’re so hell bent on communism go and live in North Korea and and see good it really is.

  72. ‘Hate to say it, but Raincoaster is right’ (S Murdoch)

    What’s she right about? Me being ‘full of cow patties’? She’s a delusional communist that wants to take over the internet. Check her website and see for yourself if you don’t believe me!

  73. thanks insomniac (sorry about kerven confusion) thats great advice

    Raincoaster-it is fairly obvious that you are not as far left as they come. I have friends from countris that are as far left as they come and in these countries one would never be allowed to criticize a politician or air political beliefs in opposition. You seem to be indulging in both of these!

  74. Raincoaster is one of these ‘there has never been true communism, if there was there would be no crime and free speech would be allowed because everyone would agree with me’ communists

    Don’t they just grate you sometimes.

  75. Steven_L – you raise a good general point: the most fervent communists are often those who speak freely in a democracy (excepting the blood thirsty of course, they speak anywhere – raincoaster, hilarious joke about che in the smoking room), and the most damning of single mothers live in happy marriages, and the most ready to go to war are those who don’t have to fight. It is ever so.

    Alexander raised an interesting point about top-up fees.

  76. Re Top-up fees:

    Is it possible that we have a paradox, i.e. top-up fees are intoduced to help fund the expansion of higher education and the diversity of courses on offer, but paradoxically they lead to a decline in demand for ‘trendy’ courses with students only willing to pay for traditional courses, at well established universities, or those courses that lead to a traditional profession?

    Is that what you would call a paradox or just a failed policy?


  77. Or will it just take a few years for the ‘market’ to sort itself out?

    Is the ‘blip’ because more people took a gap year?

    Are students trying to avoid the lecturers pay dispute?

    Lots for Boris to do when he gets back then!

  78. Insomniac, jaq and anyone else who believes in justice for Louise Jensen.
    I have set up a blog about this case through which I can be emailed. I would really appreciate it if you could take a look. It is probably more suited to a website but that is beyond my technical capabilities at the mo. I am going to be adding more posts tomorrow but it is a start i think. It is not the greatest but i will make it better as i go along. if anyone has a website or blog or knows anyone who does it would be great if you could add a link. Thanks for your help
    Anyway, it is http://www.fight-for-justice.blogspot.com

  79. England does not need it own parliament or assembly. It is big and ugly enough to look after itself, sure in the knowledge that it is superior in most respects to Scotland and Wales.

    Of far greater importance is the question of why tandoori restaurants – indeed, the whole catering industry – now finds it necessary to smother every dish with coriander leaf, the most disgusting “herb” known to man (Raincoaster, you may know it as Cilantro). Boris should devote his time in Parliament to having it eradicated from every kitchen.

  80. “Iraq would be a lot better if:
    a) France and Germany had helped in the first place
    b) Iran stopped sponsoring terrorists /insurgents
    c) Syria stopped sponsoring terrorists / insurgents
    Maybe if France found a decent leader things might get better”

    Gawd, Steven, will you stop quoting Bush and Co? It’s SO irritating.

  81. PaulD, the only thing I ever use coriander for is curing meat (beef). It tastes like soap if you use it on anything else.

    Good plan, it should be classed as a schedule B herb as far as the subcontinent food industry goes.

  82. Well we couldn’t have mango salsa without it, and for that alone it has its rightful place.

    I’m very glad you’ve all decided just who I am and what I believe in, based on your preconceptions and the word of a man who’s declared his interest in bombing: Iraq, Iran, Lebanon, Syria, Palestine, North Korea and…was it Pakistan or India? I forget.

    Just as soon as someone buys him enough F-22s.

    I’m an anarchal communist, which means that I believe that the best possible government is none, and the best possible distribution of property is communal, meaning everything belongs to everyone. I’m also not deluded enough to think that’s implimentable here and now, which is why I also identify as a Trudeau liberal, which you can look up.

    I don’t know these lefties that you know, but you also don’t know me. You can check my blog if you like, but I believe my remarks have proven, if nothing else, that I am as un-PC as any human being on Earth.

    Just ask the Albanians.

  83. As Boris is an avid cyclist, how about pushing through a motion/law making it obligatory to wear a cycling helmet when cycling on public roads? I mean, it’s not like they cost a bomb. I had an idiot wobble across in front of my car this morning as he couldn’t control his bike (he was cycling with one hand so he could push his scarf and hood aside so he could take a drag of a cigerette).

  84. Got to disagree with you there Steven, I think we have far too much legislation already, including this glorification of terrorism business. What we need is LESS legislation from this look-at-me-I’m-a-lawyer nanny state.

    I think anything should be done about that mans inalienable right to kill himself if he wants to. It’s only a concern if he endangers someone elses life but hey if he CAN ride safely with a smoke AND a drink then I’d stand him a round. To just what extent do you think the state should interfere and take over an adults responsibility to think for himself?

  85. Sorry, typo, that should have read:

    I DON’T think anything should be done about that mans inalienable right to kill himself if he wants to.

  86. PaulD,

    You’ll never be invited to one my my curry nights, fresh corriander by the bucketload I’m afraid. If you don’t like corriander try feenugreek leave in your tikka massala, gives in an interesting fresh type taste.


    Your communal property idea sucks, what you’re saying basically means a load of crackheads can descend on my folks house for a crack-fest whenever they want, stay as long as they want and there is no police to sort it out. We’d have vigilanti justice before you knew it, crack-heads and communists alike would be hanging from every lamp post.

    Can you imagine the fights that would break out over all the best beach houses? You think I’m crazy for taking Bush’s side over the Ayatollah’s and then you go and suggest we do away with the whole of government and private ownership?!

  87. Steven, lay off the pipe long enough to read the whole post. Just once, please.

    Trudeau Liberal. As in Pierre Trudeau. Look. It. Up.

    The world won’t be ready for anarchal communism until it’s done away with money entirely, so how imminent do you think that is, eh?

  88. Raincoaster,

    If we have no money, how do I buy a pint after work? I’m presuming we still have to work. What happens to people who take sickies all the time? Are they still allowed a pint after work? Do we get some sort of stamp card instead of money to show how many pints we are allowed?

    It won’t work, you can’t have a world without trade and you can’t have trade without money

    (excuse me barman, would you exchange this dozen fresh duck eggs for large glass of wine and a plate of steak and chips?)

    Presumably when I’ve traded all my fresh duck eggs and anything else I can get my hands on for a few lagers I just find a house I like the look of, wlak in the door and crash out.

    If all property is communal where do I store my clothes? Or are all clothes communal as well?

    If there is no government how do we deal with theives? Or does it still come down to that communist thing ‘there’d be no theives and no murderers because everyone would agree with me’

    This anarchal communism sucks, when the revolution comes does that mean I get shot?

  89. StevenL: Fenugreek leaf, I love it. A good methi takes a lot of beating. More to the point, I don’t know anyone who dislikes it.

    This discussion is not as flippant as it may seem. To me, the rampant use of coriander is a sign of fascism in the catering industry, such as we see in so many consumer products where we’re forced to buy something whether we like it or not because someone has declared it trendy / healthy / green / low in calories / kind to Patagonian farmers / whatever.

    A significant number of people (including, most appropriately, Toxic Squirrel above) absolutely despise the stuff yet it turns up everywhere, from garnish on a humble bowl of rice to prepared supermarket meals. It is the Adidas of the culinary world. Eat it or be square. I accept that some people enjoy it, just as some enjoy strutting around in an Adidas shell suit, but they must understand that others detest the weed with a deep and abiding loathing.

    So much for consumer choice. I am proudly offered a dozen brands of washing powder, all pretty much the same, but try telling a waiter or cook you don’t want coriander polluting all your food and they think you’re nuts. It’s fashionable, you see?

    There’s a theory that some people have an extra taste bud which senses coriander differently, interpreting it as a blend of washing-up liquid, ear wax and metal polish. Notwithstanding those who actually like it, its all-pervading stench is more often a cover-up for lazy cooking. Escoffier managed quite well without the bloody weed.

    I’ll gladly join you for a cuz, Steven, if the green peril remains optional!

  90. ‘I am proudly offered a dozen brands of washing powder, all pretty much the same’ (PaulD)

    In terms of misleading statements washing powder adverts make Bill Clinton look like a rank amateur.

    Every damn time a new washing powder comes out they compare it to their old one and their old one leaves the stain there. When that one came out a few years ago they compared it to the one before that, which left the stain in, but the one we are talking about took the stain out! Amazing!

    So lets have a rain check, whats Boris got to do when he gets back to work:

    1) Design a new toty party logo
    2) Impeach Blair and read Peter Hitchens
    3) Get a new bicycle (or a hair cut)
    4) Sort out our criminal justice system
    5) Start watching Al-Jazeera
    6) Bring back NHS dentists
    7) Engage more female voters
    8) Bring back democracy for England
    9) Get rid of some old legislation
    10) Get me my tax rebate (If I post the form can you present it to his Brownship for me?)
    11) Go back on ‘Have I got News for You’
    12) Investigate the effect of top-up fees on admissions
    13) Draft a private members bill banning the use of frash coriander leaf in curry houses

    Have I missed anyone?

  91. raincoaster, the world won’t be ready for anarchy until at least half the population stop wanting what the other half has got (even if it’s virtually nothing).

    They’d also need to get rid of gang mentality.

  92. ‘They’d also need to get rid of gang mentality'(Toxic Squirrel)

    14) Abolish football

  93. Good list, Steven. May I adjust the priorities?

    1) Abolish football
    2) Ban coriander
    3) Ban banning anything
    4) Ban anyone who bans banning
    5) Ban everyone who wants to ban anyone banning anything
    The rest follow.

  94. Steven_L – I am delighted and appalled!! (try doing that on one glass of vino)

    Sweetiedarling allow me to correct you in all haste:

    1) Design a new toty party logo (a new ‘totty’ party logo? like it, like it)
    2) Impeach Blair and read CHRISTOPHER Hitchens (who’s this Peter chappie? some upstart no doubt)
    3) Get a new bicycle (or a hair cut)
    4) Sort out our criminal justice system
    5) Start watching Al-Jazeera
    6) Bring back NHS dentists
    7) Engage more female voters
    8) Bring back democracy for England
    9) Get rid of some old legislation
    10) Get me my tax rebate (If I post the form can you present it to his Brownship for me?)
    11) Go back on ‘Have I got News for You’
    12) Investigate the effect of top-up fees on admissions
    13) Draft a private members bill banning the use of frash coriander leaf in curry houses

  95. I used to be in favour of anarchy but now I can’t be bothered (yes, I’m THAT old)

    I’m all for communism but I’d like a blue one please.

    I’d vote for capitalism but I can’t afford it.

    I like coriander, I just can’t get it to keep growing – as soon as I get it home from Sainsbellys it goes bleurgh then dies 🙁

  96. raincoaster – forgive my ignorance but how do you get the word ‘surprise’ to be a shortcut??


    #9 should have read…

    9) Get rid of some NEW legislation

    The old stuff was better.

  98. When I first suggested that a new Conservative administration should get rid of some old legislation, that included most of Blair’s infamous knee-jerk legislation as a matter of course!
    As it stands in the UK today, if the police wanted, there’s something they could arrest you for every time you leave your front door. (And no doubt, even before that).

    Minimal, but well-thought out legislation should be the watch-word.

  99. Some time ago I wrote to Boris Johnson outlining an idea I had which involved increasing financial incentives for those in higher education studying technological subjects such as physics and engineering – precisely the types of courses that the CBI recently complained are not being taken up by undergraduates in the UK. I received the stock reply to the effect that my letter may or may not be read by Mr Johnson etc. Fair enough, but imagine my surprise when I noticed the following passage from one of Boris’s latest contributions to The Spectator –

    “We must encourage the uptake of crunchy subjects with an equitable system of financial incentives not just for those who teach them but also – why not? – for the students who excel in them; and we must do it as a simple matter of social justice.”

    It’s amazing to think that both Boris and I had exactly the same idea on this matter.

  100. Good one Lori – check it out folks, had a brief peek and looks good to me.

    Mark Robinson – told you he listened.

    When a man says he loves you, with caution believe him, but if he swears it, he’ll surely deceive thee. What people do rather than what they say is the best indication of character – God help Tony Bliar.

  101. Lori,

    Mark Thomas is a very funny man, is he making a new TV series? If I was in London on the 31st I’d have been up for that and had a protest about the smoking ban.

  102. 15) Bring back cricket in state schools

    How many more times am I going to have to listen to a load of Ivory tower socialists ramble on about how to integrate our friends from the subcontinent into our communities better?

    It’s startlingly obvious – bring back cricket!

  103. Assuming they want to be integrated.

    And don’t already have their own private cricket team.

  104. As Boris is the shadow minister for higher education I’d like to see him look into ‘Complaints mishandled’ in Universities.

    I’ve currently involved in a case where we’ve made a complaint (Can’t go into it for legal reasons) and its taken nearly 5 months just to get a reply from the university’s HR Dept!!

    Complaints by students aren’t taken seriously enough and something needs to be done!

    Hope you enjoyed your holiday Boris!

    Best Wishes.

  105. Dear Boris,
    as shadow minister for buffoonery and ‘bits on the side’ do you think that philanderers such as John Prescott and your good self should be given the choice of resignation or [removed by administrator] in the public interest?

    I would also be interested to enquire if you have any views on anything at all which haven’t already been dumped in the trashcan labeled pointless, right wing, neo-conservative, elitist stupidity?

    You are an ass. My considered advice is you should get out of politics quickly before anyone else notices.

  106. Am I too late to the party?

    I have an issue that Boris may be interested in, though it doesn’t concern education or Henley.

    I would like to see a law requiring paper shredders to have a longer ‘throat’ for the paper to travel down before it reaches the cutting blades.

    The problem is that shredders were designed for an office environment. Now they are being bought for home studies and left (usually on the floor) switched on and in the auto mode. This means any small object that brushes the sensors will start the blades slicing. This link describes what happens to small children’s fingers and dog’s tongues when they inadvertently set off a shredder (is it a little gruesome).


    It seems to me that by moving the blades futher down the shredder’s throat, these horrific injuries would be irradicated without making the item more expensive (beyond the cost of the redesign). I think this would be a good law.

  107. Regarding Chris Morriss’ point about reducing legislation, I once read a proposal to create a Do Nothing Party that would run on the manisfesto of promising to create no new legislation at all. The idea was to do absolutely nothing for the first term, allowing people and businesses to get used to the rules already in place, then for the second term they would start removing laws.

    I have to say I’d vote for it.

  108. Steven, a clever attempt to reduce the amount you have to read. If I read with your level of comprehension I would also take this attitude!

    jaq, all you have to do is hit the left-pointing bracket and then “a href” and then “= and double quotation marks” and then the URL you want and then the right-pointing bracket then put in the word you want and then the left-pointing bracket and “/” and “a” and the right-pointing bracket. Does that make sense?

    So, for example:


    Becomes best blog in the known universe, bar none.


  109. On behalf of the sixth form students at St Mary’s College in Crosby, Liverpool, I would like to invite Boris to Speak at our Cuba Evening later this year.
    We are raising funds to go on a conservation expedition next summer and Boris would be a star attraction to our event.
    The people of Crosby would be thrilled to hear Boris’s views on the current political situation in Cuba and we feel it would be a perfect platform to dispel forever his alleged comments about our beautiful city of liverpool.
    Please contact me by email or at the school with a response.
    Many thanks,
    V Patterson (sixth form student)

  110. Victoria Patterson – please email Boris with your invitation, his email address can be found in the ‘contact’ section, top right, at the top of this page.

  111. Elipsis,

    Re: Shredders

    All consumer products are governed by EC product safety legislation. If your shredder was originally purchased for use in the workplace then it is governed by health and safety at work legislation.

    So if you pinch the office shredder you are not covered, however, if you buy a shredder that is marketed for private use and it cuts off your kiddies fingers or dogs tongue you can sue the manufacturer or importer (unless the damage to your dog is less than 500 euros).

    We don’t need any more safety legislation there is quite enough already thank you.


    Haven’t you learned not to post more than one link at once yet? Or do all your comments have to be moderated now? Considering the frequent use of colourful language on your website I can’t blame Melissa for wanting to chastise your filthy tongue.

  112. Bravo, I say. Always thought this silly fuss about perfectly good, old-fashioned words was a nonsense.

  113. Not so much fuss as rules we have to follow. C’mon people, it’s a good forum, let’s not spoil it.

  114. Points Make Prizes

    Suggesting issues that Boris should concentrate on when parliament resumes in October,
    here’s the running so far folks:-

    Davide Simonetti – id cards, 90 day detention

    Andy – immigration, sentencing and political correctness

    Chris Morriss – “Far, far too much of the current government’s legislation has been grotesquely ill thought out and rushed. Even better, how about getting rid of some of the old legislation before introducing new.” I don’t know how he’d do it but raise the issue however, good point Chris.

    Alexander – “the possibly negative effect that Top-Up Fees have had on university admissions…”

    Lori – “the abridgement of protest rights in London.”

    Spencer – “‘Complaints mishandled’ in Universities.”

    And a mid-term winner has to be k:- I’m tempted to praise you just for the soundbyte “As far as I can see Blairs Britains biggest import is criminals and our biggest export is employment”

    But K’s issues were:
    misuse of the human rights act, crime and punishment, civil liberty and engaging female voters.
    And if that’s not enough(!), the commendable effort to raise awareness of these issues, particularly safety for women (see link above)

    K – you are a total star.

  115. Below is a link to the ‘Sustainable Communities Bill’ which new labour presumably want to become a ‘Sustainable Communities Act’.

    The pretence of the bill seems to be more removal of local communities from the decision making process, in favour of more silly initatives and unwanted intervention from Ruth Kelly’s department. It’s one saving grace is that John Prescott no longer has responsibility for this rot. I hope the tories will be voting against this waste of tax payers money.


  116. Oh dear … I do hope it’s not bye-bye raincoaster.
    She made such intelligent contributions.

  117. Raincoasters blog looks like it hasn’t been updated in over 24 hours! Hong long before we alert the Mounted Police they might have a missing blogger on their hands?

    Oh, and my tax rebate turned up today without me having to fill in the form they sent me and send a P60, which begs the question why on Earth they sent the form in the first place? So scrub no 10 on the to-do list.

  118. So here I am incapacitated and surviving on yogurt and ramen while my Conservative Chickenhawk friend is cashing government cheques. There is no justice in the world.

    Word to the wise: never, ever try to switch your internal clock around from nocturnal to diurnal within 24 hours. I’ve had chemotherapy, and this was worse.

    As I have explained privately to Melissa, I try to moderate my language on this site. At my blog, the safety’s off and it’s hair-on-the-walls time. Which reminds me to blog about Photobucket soon…grrrrr.

    Thanks to everyone except Steven L for their support. To Steven L :Phooey. I say again, Phooey! I now have greater incentive to beat you for the job.

    jaq, look here for how to format links.

  119. Sorry jaq, those instructions are WordPress-specific. Thought those were the proper ones, but obviously I should lay off the guava juice this late at night. I’ve emailed you the instructions; let me know if the computer eats them or something. Sometimes they do that with HTML-looking stuff.

  120. Why isn’t this piece by Boris on his blog? Or is it already, but I just haven’t noticed it?

      Spectator. Issue 12 Aug 2006

      That’s it, Uncle Sam

      Boris Johnson

      Right. That’s it. Entre nous c’est terminé. After 42 happy years I am getting a divorce from America. From the very emerging of my childhood consciousness I have been aware that in the eyes of billions of people around the world I have won first prize in the lottery of life. I possess it, the thing competed for by everyone from Rupert Murdoch to the most desperate Mexican wetback, and I have it by simple dint of my nativity, on the Puerto Rican Health Scheme, in New York General Hospital, NY, NY.

      I am entitled to an American passport. I…

  121. “the thing competed for by everyone from Rupert Murdoch to the most desperate Mexican wetback”

    The man is deluded. I’m not remotely interested in one, and neither are my kids, who are both in their twenties. First prize in the lottery of life? Sheesh … is he being sarcastic?

  122. Hi

    Am back and Jaq has been policing the comments perfectly! Brill stuff girl!! and totally agree with K being a winner

    Yes Idlex could well put on the Spec article if you like….

  123. Boris, A few points to think about,as my vote is up for grabs!

    1) Too many people are getting away with MURDER using some excuse or other eg.”I didnt MEAN to kill him when i used his head as a trampoline”.(Judge reduces to manslaughter-unless politically correct victim group involved=”thought-crime”)
    2) Transparency in sentencing so the public know how long will be served.eg.Life to mean life.No tampering with more generous remission to reduce prison overcrowding.
    3)Build more prisons. (You dont just have to demolish them if the no. of crimes go down.You could turn them into backpacker hostels or something).
    4) Better monitoring of criminals that commit serious crimes in one EU state and travel or take up residence in another eg.See
    LOUISE JENSEN case URL above
    5) Stand up to the Judges when they try to frustrate wishes of elected parliament when it expresses the will of the people.
    5) No more speed cameras. Most accidents are caused by tailgating anyway.But-
    6) Tougher penalties for drunk drivers and repeat offenders especially those who kill. Round here the penalty for drunk driving with no insurance/tax seems to be £50-£200! My car insurance alone costs me £250!
    7) Amnesty for everyone with speed camera points in the last 5 years!
    Thats enough for now.

  124. Melissa,

    Welcome back, I sent an email like you requested on August 16th, got your out of office thingy then thought you were ignoring me. Have I won something?

  125. Blogsite insomniac and Jaq linked to earlier is currently down at the moment (my antivirus software is not so good as I imagined)but will be back up soon. In the meantime if anyone who has their own blog would like to mention the Louise Jensen case (see previous postings) it would be much appreciated.

  126. Hi , K nice to see you re back. Seems you ve been nominated as winner by some of the regulars for the points you have raised earlier.
    Sorry to see the blogs still down. I did try to post a few links in it and mentioned it in some other forums. Email me and i might be able to help out if you cant get it back tomorrow.

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