“the world has heard so much about duck houses and lame duck prime ministers that they must think we are all completely quackers”
If the BBC’s chiefs have an ounce of common sense they will seize the moment, cut Jonathan Ross’s salary in half and use the money to hire another 20 Farsi-speaking analysts. […]
There is a good reason why the ayatollah bashed Britain with such singular ferocity, and it is to do with the Iranians’ changing view of America. We have been co-opted to play the role of Great Satan, because America is now led by Barack Obama, or Barack Hussein Obama, as Fox News always calls him, and it is obvious that the mullahs don’t know quite how to handle him.
Obama’s intelligent speech in Cairo has had a big impact in the Muslim world, and it is obvious that it is his presence in the White House – far more than any BBC broadcast – that is giving hope to the demonstrators in Tehran.
I don’t know whether this election was rigged. Even if there were as many irregularities as the protesters claim, it seems sadly possible that Mr Ahmedinejad retained a majority of the votes, if not 63 per cent. Indeed, I saw one BBC television report that scrupulously portrayed the messianic reception he received in parts of the country, with weeping women queuing to touch the hem of his raiment.
Yearly Archives: 2009
Wealth creation and public spending
So here we go again. The battle lines are drawn, and how numbingly predictable it is. For the next 11 months we are fated to endure a necrarchy, a zombie government – and a brain-dead argument about public spending. […]
I want to hear politicians talk less about themselves and their priorities and more about the entrepreneurs, the people who get up at 5am to organise their business or cut deals with the other side of the world. Every time you hear politicians swanking about what they are going to do with public funds, remember that wealth was ultimately created by private enterprise; and, if they don’t help the wealth creators, they won’t have any money to spend.
[The full article can be seen as first printed in the Daily Telegraph on 15 June 2009]
BNP Protest – Nick Griffin pelted with eggs
He really did get a good egging – see here
Here is a further timely Dungeekin rendition in a wonderful ‘Oliver’ spoof
In this life, one thing counts,
Tolerance in large amounts,
But when you see the BNP,
You’ve got to taunt a Fascist or two.
You’ve got to taunt a Fascist or two, boys,
You’ve got to taunt a Fascist or two.
When you see the BNP,
You’ve got to taunt a Fascist or two!
Hanging on to jobs and power
If Labour backbenchers want to remove such suspicions, their only choice is to revolt. Will they? Don’t hold your breath.
What a shower. What a farce. […]
The past few days have reminded me of the climactic scenes of one of those Pink Panther films, when the world’s supposedly most ruthless killers are converging on their target, and their mission is Kill Clouseau! or in this case, Kill Gordon! Each has his or her signature weapon, and each manages to bog it up. With an unexpected yell, Purnell springs from the stationery cupboard at the Department of Work and Pensions – and his rubber dagger spangs harmlessly aside. […]
[The full article can be seen as first printed in the Daily Telegraph on 08 June 2009]
Gordon’s Reshuffle Song
Jackie Smith to step down as Home Secretary
MPs’ expenses and restoring trust in politics
Thanks to Dungeekin for his excellent satire.
See here
(Apologies to Doris Day)
Simon Heffer for Chelmsford
He actually has a world view…He actually believes things, and he believes them with a volcanic sincerity
..a withering reproach to all the temporising anaemic difference-splitters of this Parliament.
We want the Heff, as we affectionately call him, and we want him now.
David Cameron is said to have received 1,000 letters from assorted headcases who believe they are an undiscovered talent, the Susan Boyles of the next Parliament. And yet of all the names that have so far emerged, there is only one that has really made me sit up. I speak for millions of Daily Telegraph readers when I say that last week my heart leapt for joy when I saw that at last Simon Heffer is poised to allow his name to go forward.
I pounded the table so hard the crockery rattled. I emitted a strangled cry of relief – the kind of noise they must have made in Mafeking when they realised the siege was about to be lifted, and my being was flooded with that sense of ineffable calm that is said to have descended on Churchill when he heard that, after agonising years of prevarication, America had entered the war on our side.
Politics may be in crisis. Parliament may be discredited. The very letters MP now seem to stand for nothing but a bunch of Mercenary Plunderers. But with Heffer poised to enter Parliament, and with the ample Hefferian trouserings set to polish the leather of the green benches, I had a sudden sense that everything was going to be all right.
It is true that the news filled me with such elation that my vision was temporarily clouded, and I may not have read the fine print of the article. But I received the distinct impression that he had set his sights on an Essex seat; and since Heffer invented the very phrase and concept of “Essex Man”, and since he is already known as the “Sage of Chelmsford”, it struck me that he must be a shoo-in.
Rebel MPs are where?
We need a Parliament of rebels, and we need it now.
The political class of this country are like the passengers of a Russian sled, hissing late at night through the moonlit forest. The ponies are exhausted, and behind them the wolves are in full cry.
One by one the leaders of all parties are hurling their colleagues over the back, in the hope of placating the ravening pack. Tory grandees, Labour Cabinet ministers – no one is safe. Now, in an act of political brutality not seen for 300 years, the terrified MPs have turned on Mr Speaker himself, and with a fearful Glaswegian oath the substantial form of Michael Martin has thudded into the snow.
[….]
I have lost count of the number of times I have sat through debates, after which my colleagues have begun their speeches with the words, “This has been an excellent debate”, and I have wanted to shout, “No! It hasn’t been remotely excellent.
“It has been a collection of cut-and-paste Lego-brick speeches in which people have been speaking not from the heart or direct knowledge of the issue, but because the whips have suggested it would be a good idea to speak.”
[…]
If we had fewer MPs, and they were forced to concentrate on what they were actually doing, we would have much less legislation, and I can’t think of a better way of saving us all time, trouble and money.
[The full article can be seen as first printed in the Daily Telegraph on 25 May 2009]
Speaker Michael Martin faces a revolt on MPs’ expenses
Here is Dungeekin’s take on MPs’ expenses: click here
With apologies to Tony Basil, here is Dungeekin’s parody song following the Statement in the House of Commons this afternoon: click here
Britain’s oldest mother-to-be
It takes quite a lot to knock MPs’ expenses off the front pages these days, so I was amazed, as I grabbed a random tabloid while rushing for a plane on Saturday morning, to discover that the big news of the day was a story of impending motherhood. A British woman was pregnant, we learnt from the six-inch high headlines, and a pretty scandalous pregnancy the paper thought it was. Continue reading Britain’s oldest mother-to-be