Gordon Brown and Alternative Voting

Downing Street has admitted “time is tight” to get laws for a referendum on scrapping Britain’s first past the post voting system through Parliament.  Gordon Brown wants to replace it with “alternative vote,” where candidates are ranked in order of preference.  The Prime Minister says this is a better way of choosing MPs but the Conservatives say the existing method is fair and “keeps extremists out”. 

To continue Boris’s theme of voting methods here is a latest offering from Dungeekin who thinks we should have a little song in honour of the debate:



David Cameron: You know, Electorate, you are privileged to live in this age of quality democracy.
The Electorate: Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all elections these days are completely rigged trash.
David Cameron: Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of rigged electoral methods!

When the PM lauds a policy he used to disavow,
When he says ‘we must reform the voting system and here’s how’,
When he knows that everybody wants to vote him out RIGHT NOW,
Then the plain situation,
The simple declaration
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

Now as Brown cries on the TV and beats up his office staff,
We know Mandy’s in the background making plans on his behalf,
So the thought that AV’s fairer should be one to make you laugh,
They can try to deny it,
But there should be a riot,
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

And five more years of Brown will make us all feel ill,
As all our taxes rise to pay his spending bill,
*Then there’s Balls and Harman*

Now we know that Gordon Brown’s the worst PM there’s ever been,
AV’s use of second choices could still keep him on the scene,
We’ve had twelve years of New Labour and can’t cope with seventeen,
Oh there ain’t nothin’ to it,
They’re gonna try and do it,
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

The Electorate: You know, I think I’m getting the idea, David!
David Cameron: Uh? You see?
The Electorate: Absolutely! Hey, how about this:

Labour want to keep their seats by any means they can contrive,
With their MPs and their ministers all desp’rate to survive,
So they’ve tried to get the Lib Dems help to keep their hopes alive,
No we won’t over-sell ya,
We merely wanna tell ya,
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

Now to say that AV’s fairer is a lie and a disgrace,
They just want to rig the system to help Labour win the race,
Brown is only recommending it to keep himself in place,
Oh you ought to deplore it,
You really can’t ignore it,
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

Now if you want to see this nation on the mend,
We need to bring New Labour’s regime to an end,

So to sum up the philosophy on which we’re all agreed,
All the garbage in the Cabinet is just what we don’t need,
And that AV’s just another way for Labour to mislead,
When you pull back the curtain,
It’s absolutely certain,
Labour’s trying to rig elections with AV!

9 thoughts on “Gordon Brown and Alternative Voting”

  1. Oh come on, it can’t have escaped people’s memories here that Boris himself was elected London Mayor under SV, which isn’t hugely removed from AV? A classic case of Labour rigging there.

  2. I would like more trees and plants and less cars. I am contributing by walking to school.

  3. I’d like to live on an island somewhere Westminster, it’s agents, and a certain journalist (but not politician) can’t make my life a misery.

  4. oh Mr.brown pray tell us how to vote,
    Oh Mr.brown please tell us its a joke,
    do you hope to halt your losing,
    sway us into choosing,
    by making the proceedings,
    even more confusing,

    or do you think elections,
    should have penalties and ties,
    like football so when labour fall,
    they may still gain second prize,

    i dont mean to be abrupt,
    but having seen just how corrupt,
    the labour party seems to be,
    from expenses claims and such,
    between you and me your party is out of luck,
    and i do doubt oh so much,
    that you’ll be first….or runner up!

    while you stood as chancellor,
    well..you were made of iron,
    now a p.m made of paper,
    labour made this broken bed,
    for you to lie on,
    but Mr.Blair is there,
    with a shoulder…
    … for you to cry on.

  5. You do appreciate of course that AV was introduced into Australia by a conservative government/coalition to keep Labor out.

    Michael Howard’s erstwhile advisor Lynton Crosby should be able to confirm this.

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