The Queen’s Speech 2009 (The Mikado)

[youtube][/youtube]Dungeekin provides a musical rendition on the Queen’s Speech this afternoon

Many of the original words are resonant today.

In a break from Tradition, this year saw Her Majesty the Queen deliver the speech at the State Opening of Parliament not in words, but instead in song:

As each year for the Government a speech one must propound,
One’s reading Labour’s list – one’s reading Labour’s list
One pretends to be a mouthpiece for a Leadership unsound,
And they never will be missed – they never will be missed,

One regrets that for Tradition’s sake one can’t just sit and laugh,
At the bare-faced cheek of Labour with their promises daft,
Their MP’s claiming second homes and cash for this and that,
And equating one to vermin, like one was not Royal but Rat,
One wishes one could just dissolve the House so they’d desist

But instead one sits upon one’s throne and reads out Labour’s list.


She’s reading Labour’s list–She’s reading Labour’s list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed–they’ll none of ’em be missed.

Their bald electioneering makes one’s presence a disgrace,
One’s reading Labour’s list – one’s reading Labour’s list,
They’ve used one as a starting-gun for their Election Race,
And they never will be missed – they never will be missed,

And one’s PM simply waffles in his dull and dismal tone,
I’m sure if I beheaded him then nobody would moan,
They pledge cash to the places on whose votes they can’t rely,
Though one’s benighted Government has milked its coffers dry,
But the powers of Tradition leave one helpless to resist,

So one’s reading Labour’s List – one’s reading Labour’s list!


She’s reading Labour’s list–She’s reading Labour’s list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed–they’ll none of ’em be missed.

I have watched New Labour decimate the quality of life
One’s reading Labour’s list – one’s reading Labour’s list,
And my Subjects all condemned to lives of penury and strife,
And they never will be missed – they never will be missed,

The one small consolation that I have to bear in mind,
Is with so little time left all these Bills will not be signed,
I wish like Monarchs past I could just execute a few,
Who so abused their power in their ruling over you.
But it doesn’t really matter what I read out from this list

‘Cause an election’s coming and they’ll none of them be missed.


She’s reading Labour’s list–She’s reading Labour’s list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed–they’ll none of ’em be missed.
(With apologies to HM, as well as G&S).

17 thoughts on “The Queen’s Speech 2009 (The Mikado)”

  1. London’s mayor, Boris Johnson, is consulting the public on London’s transport strategy. Even if you or your family only travel to London occasionally, his strategy affects you too. Boris wants to shrink the congestion zone – losing millions in revenue which he will have to make up from even higher fares for bus and tube users – and he doesn’t detail how London will meet its CO2 reduction targets or reduce congestion.

    Is he just trying to make sure he holds on to the votes of London’s car-drivers, regardless of the effects on other road-users?

  2. For goodness sake tohm there are more jams now than before the enlarged zone. Where have you been living – South Pole.

  3. Transport for London staff were paid £17m in bonuses under the watch of Boris Johnson, it emerged today.

    The figures were released as Johnson, who is chair of TfL, used his weekly column in today’s Daily Telegraph to round on the government for overseeing “an explosion in the wage bill of the state”.

    Is Boris Johnson increasingly a hypocrite?

  4. I liked Paxo’s take on the queens speech on Newsnight. (Paxo, not the queen) Can’t remember exactly but it was something like she gets the pomp and circumstance and we get the reliant robin of democracy.

  5. Ali, I take profound offence at your monkeyist comment. For your info my latest reading list (courtesy of my guardian, Stromboli, the circus strong man) includes Dickens, Flaubert, F. Scott Fitzgerald with just a soupcon of Mickey Spillane. How dare you? Have a care etc.etc.

  6. CHORUS: 1, 2, 3 !

    She’s reading Labour’s list!
    She’s reading Labour’s list!!!

    Well done, Dungeekin! Very funny!

    Talking about Labour & the EU, folks. Former Latvian President ( 2 terms/ 8 years ) Madame Vaira Vike-Freiberga wants to be chosen as Europe’s first president.

    As a kid in WW2, she and her family fled from Latvia to escape the Russian commies to French Morocco. Later on, the family moved to Canada in the 1950s. She studied and became Professor of Linguistics at the University of Montreal and author of 11 books and was awarded 16 honorary doctorates.

    Since leaving the Latvian presidency 2 years ago, she has joined a group of senior politicians drawing up plans for the EU and is a frequent visitor to Brussels.

    She said that her programme for the EU presidency would be guided by pragmatism, rejecting ideologies such as ” federalism “- which is what Brussels has been trying to turn the EU into.

    She’s dismayed by the secretive appointment procedure for the presidency and has called upon the EU to ” stop working like the former Soviet Union. ” !

    She challenged Tony Blair and her other male rivals to come clean about their ambitions and tell Europeans why they should be chosen!

    Her brand of centrist free-market politics – she stood as an independent candidate for the Latvian presidency – is built on a hatred of dogma in all its forms, but especially the communism that enslaved her country for 50 years !

    Meanwhile, a bunch of power hungry wallies that is Tony Blair, Belgian Prime Minister Herman Van Rompuy ( enjoys writing Japanese Haiku styled poems! ), Dutch PM, Luxemburg PM, Spainish former PM… all want to be EU’s first president and are fighting with each other for the job!!!

    What a bunch of wallies- if they can’t decide who to be the president, why did they want to create EU in the first place?

    The EU should only about trades and NATO ( against communism and terrorism ) only and each country should then manage its own business as usual.

  7. We also have the Lord High Everything Else in the suavely sinister person of Baron Mandelson of Foy in the county of Herefordshire and Hartlepool in the county of Durham.

  8. 28.10.2009 French financial watchdogs slammed small French President Nicolas Sarkozy for spending £160million during his country’s SIX-MONTH stint as the rotating presidency of the EU, including £250,000 on his personal presidential shower that he never used, which is the equivalent of the £250,000 a-year/renewable 5 year-term EU presidency job that those bastardy politicians are fighting each other for.

    That just shows you how wasteful the EU is. Because ” It’s only public money! “, so nobody cares, nobody checks.

    Talking about the wasteful EU, Labour’s open door policy on immigrants, our expense cheating MPs, nobody-cares-anymore attitude and Tracey Emin’s works, folks. Last week someone dumped 3 old mattresses by a bus stop in town. Each mattress had the words ” THE EU CAN HAVE THIS ” written in black marker on it. Plus a thick pile of old newspapers!

    With no good examples for the public to look up to, it’s no wonder “anti-social” behaviour ( or should we call it anarchic behaviour? ) is on the increase. And who can blame them? The country is in ruins anyway. So: Let it ruin, let it ruin, let it ruin!!! ( as in Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!! )

  9. @Tiresias: Please let’s sponsor another “G&S” production . . about The Noble Lord (after his next speech and before he retires). . to appear in this excellent and entertaining blog. And congratulations to the actors, and the blog editor.

  10. “…. Rainhard Bettzuege, the German ambassador in Brussels, declared: ” Chancellor Angela Mackerel and her goverment are behind Van Rompuy for this job. ”

    Within hours, Labour’s Europe minister Chris Bryant hit back by branding Van Rompuy a ” federalist ” who threatened Britain’s national interest (!)

    And he slammed shadow foreign secretary William Hague for opposing Tony Blair’s bid. He said: ” I’m bewildered that Hague would want to support Van Rompuy – who has a rather more federalist agenda than other prime ministers in Europe. ” ……

    Well, the thing is – the whole EU is in fact a federation run by hardcore socialist nut-cases. Or western communists. Which is just the same thing.

    If Labour ” knows” Van Puy is a federist who threatens Britain’s national interest, why didn’t Labour give the British public a referendum on the EU and pull out of this crazy union of states?

    As Tory is not in power, there was nothing Hague could do – he’s not keen on the EU Federal one bit. Rompuy is just as BAD as Blair. So the least he could do was opposing Blair’s bid!

    Anyway, the Labour Party itself is run by hardcore socialist nut-cases. Or western communists. Which is just the same thing.

    And the EU or the EU Federal is just a new name for the dead-as-a-parrot-USSR, western communists’ fatherland.

    19.11.2009 The Sun says: CAESAR SALAD

    In Brussels tonight, Europe’s new masters will be chosen at a cosy dinner. Not by the EU’s 500 million citizens, but by the 27 leaders representing them.

    The new elected EU president and his side kick, the EU foreign policy representative, will wield enormous power. They will strut the world insisting they speak for all of Europe – including us.

    It’s too late to stop it happening. From the moment Labour signed the Lisbon treaty, today is inevitable.

    At the stroke we are back in the days of Gladiator, where an elected Caesar ruled supreme over the continent.

    Where is Russell Crowe when you need him?

    Friday, November 20, 2009 The Sun: ROMPUY PUMPY IS EU’S NUMPTY

    … A little-known Belgian named Herman Van Rompuy was last night confirmed as the first President of Europe. He was handed the £320,000-a-year job by EU leaders after a day of shameless horse-trading in Brussels…

    Rompuy’s side kick, the EU foreign policy representative, is a… ( drum call ) … Labour crony Baroness Ashton, an ex-charity worker who’s married to… ( drum call )… Left-wing pollster Peter Kellner. And is a … ( drum call )… friend of Neil and Glady Kinnock!!! Hahahahahaha !!!!!

    Blair’s hopes were left in tatters when Sarkozy and Mackerel backed Rompuy. Brown was forced to drop his support for Blair after socialist (!!!) leaders refused to back Blair.

    In a bit to limit the damage, Brown persuaded socialists to back hardcore socialist Baroness Ashton for the side kick job instead.

    Brown dismissed questions about the failure of his campaigns, insisting he had… ( drum call )… protected Britain’s national interests in Europe. ( !!! ). Hahahahahaha !!!!!

    IF the EU is such a dangerous organisation, why didn’t Labour pull out?

    The Sun says: ” First in secretive meetings, then over a lavish feast, they thrashed out their sickening stitch-up. IT WAS LIKE THE WORST DAYS OF SOVIET RUSSIA. ” Oh, la la!

    Look at the photo of ROMPUY and FRUMPY hugging one another, folks!

    My, they are both ugly. Rompuy looks like a sick perv. The other is a frumpy, gummy, ugly hardcore nutcase! Hahahahahah !!!!!

  11. Friday 20.11.2009 The Sun says:

    Rompuy is at least an elected member of his own parliament. But the appointment of ” Baroness ” Ashton is ludicrous even by the EU’s undemocratic standards (!!!)

    She has NEVER held any elected public office. She has NEVER been a foreign minister.

    Yet now, at a pivotal moment for the EU, its relations with the world – America, China, India, Russia – are in the hands of a NOVICE. God, help us!

    Baroness Ashton climbed the ladder not via the ballot box but by being a faithful PLODDER in Labour backwaters. (!!!) Oh, dear!!!!

    Lose no sleep, folks! Being a hardcore socialist nut-case ( or a western communist. Which is just the same thing! ), ” Baroness ” Ashton knows how to bow, I mean deal with commies like a duck to water!

  12. @Peter Williams:

    I am building up a number of G&S songs, so perhaps will consider stitching together a little Operetta as a result.

    Perhaps I should call it ‘HMG Payingmore’?


Comments are closed.